October 7, 2016
Dear Everyone:
I love databases,
don’t you?
You probably do and just don’t know it.
If you get TV shows from
cable,
satellite dish, or over the
Internet,
chances are you’re using a database.
Using the remote, click the button marked “Guide”.
You get a list of shows, with network, time and title.
Click “Info” and you get more information about a particular
show. All of that
information is stored in a series of linked tables called a database.
Another example is something called the Internet Movie Database,
or IMDb.
Go to
IMDb.com
and enter the name of a movie, then click “Go”.
In seconds, you get information about that movie.
Click the name of a particular actor in the list and get a
collection of all that actor’s credits.
Click the name of another movie, or TV show, that this actor
appeared in and up comes information about that.
All information is linked to other information and that’s what
makes a database.
Databases have been around since forever.
The first databases I used were at work and were on The
Mainframe.
The Mainframe was a really, really BIG computer that you had to
have special access to get to.
The way it worked was this:
In the Beginning was The Mainframe.
You made offerings to the
High
Priests of The Mainframe; and in return, you were granted access to
your Data. And Life was
Good.
Then came the Dawn of
PCs.
Now you could have your data right on the top of your desk, with
no High Priests to get in the way.
On the other hand, you had to figure out how to use your data,
with no High Priests to intercede on your behalf.
One of the earliest forms of a “database” was something I worked out in
an application called
WordPerfect.
This was one of the first word processing software programs and
it still exists today. One
of the things it did (and presumably still does) was allow the user
(that’s me) to create a table to contain various bits of information, or
data.
I created a table to keep track of Destruction Review Reports.
It allowed me to enter relevant information about each of dozens
of reports and where they were in the review process (with the Owner,
with the "Tiddly" department, with the "Winks" department, and so
on.) Most importantly, it
allowed me to sort the table on a particular field.
So I could quickly create a list of all the reports that were
currently sitting in the
"Tiddly"department.
Then I could gently goad the people in the
"Tiddly" department to get off their rusty-dusty and take a look
at all those reports, please-and-thank-you.
Not that they did, of course.
But it was nice to be able to manipulate the data with a minimum
of effort.
It was such a good idea that somebody created a real database program
called
Paradox. Also a great
product and still in use. In
fact, for a time I was a member of the Paradox User Group, or “PUG”, a
loose collection of people who all used the product and met occasionally
to share tips, tricks and traps.
Then Microsoft
came up with something called
Access.
For years I used Access for just about everything.
In fact, at one point in time, I created an Access database that
went out and copied information from another database product that we
used for managing hundreds of thousands of stored boxes of records.
Once it had this “snapshot” of the data, the Access database ran through
a series of nested
queries
(brief gulps of information) to ultimately create a new table with all
the data in a specific format.
This could be exported from Access to create a text file that,
when uploaded into yet another database, this one for accounting, would
bill all the participating departments for all their stored boxes.
In other words, what used to take one person, full-time, about a day to
compile could be done simply by clicking a “button” in Access.
Then that person could go and do a day’s worth of other work
while Access churned away on its own.
Management liked that.
But when I retired, it was “good-bye” to Access.
It was too expensive to use at home.
Until now. When I got
my latest laptop, I found out that you could “lease” Microsoft
Office
programs, most notably
Word and
Excel; but
now it includes Access.
So I created a database and imported the latest list of
ARMA Members for my Chapter.
ARMA International sends a report every month, in the form of an
Excel spreadsheet. Because
Access and Excel are both Microsoft products, they’re designed to work
well with each other.
Presto! I have a database
with all the latest information at my fingertips.
Want a list of Members with just name and email address?
No problem! How about
a count by organization or industry?
Piece of cake!
As for my
Homeowners Association (HOA), I just created another database.
Now I can look up a Unit and get what building it’s in, who the
owner is, and whether or not they’ve used the Clubhouse in the past few
years.
I even set up a database for the TV series,
Murder,
She Wrote (MSW).
There is a cable channel that shows MSW about the time that I usually go
to bed at night. I watch it
as I’m dropping off to sleep.
The next morning, I find myself wondering, “Who was the killer
last night?”
With a modicum of effort, I entered twelve years’ worth of information.
Now I can just look up a Season and Episode and it will tell me
who the murderer was and which actor played that part.
And before you think I’m completely off my rocker, I recently
discovered that someone else made up a list of all the actors who ever
appeared as a guest on MSW and uploaded it to IMDb.
How many times did
David Birney guest star on MSW?
And how many times was he the killer?
Answer: Four and
none. He was only an
accomplice. On the other
hand, he got killed three times.
Which almost ties him with
Jessica Walter
at four guest shots, killed three times and actual murderer once.
See how much fun databases can be?
The more I use Access, the more things I remember that I can do with it.
It’s all coming back to me now.
Love, as always,
Pete
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