April 17, 1992
Dear Everyone:
New Projects for Old.
Did I mention that I got pulled off the IDI
Project? This is the one where
IDI (“Information Doodles, Inc.”) is developing a Records Management
software with our help. Originally,
“Rowena Chandler” was working with “Ashley Holtz” on this.
But then, “Rowena” was picked to
be a Quality Improvement Coach and I got pretty much all of her work.
Then we got “Miranda” to replace “Rowena”.
Or rather, I replaced “Rowena”
and “Miranda” was supposed to replace me.
But then, they took “Miranda” away, which is to say, she was
assigned to a special Quality Improvement Team working mainly in
“Pleasant Hill”. Bottom line:
All of the work that “Miranda”
had been taking over from me landed right back in my lap.
Then “Ashley” decided that he was going to take the
early retirement package and that he needed more of my time so he could
do a "brain dump" of all the information he has in his head about IDI.
So he and I had a meeting with
“Ken Crowe”, our manager, about giving some of my work to someone else.
But “Ken” turned the tables on us
and decided that we (Records Management) couldn't afford to have two
people on the IDI Team attending all of the weekly meetings.
Bottom line: “Ashley”
attends the weekly meetings and keeps me informed of anything important
that happened and I get one more day in the office each week to work on
other stuff. But I'm still,
officially, on the IDI Team.
Next, something else came up and “Ashley” and I
wound up in “Ken's” office again, pointing out to him that I was getting
tons of requests from Owners
to change their Owner Codes and boxes in the Records Centers, due to all
the restructuring that's going on. At
first, “Ken” wanted me to write a memo from him to the other analysts,
informing them that I would be assigning Owner Codes to them for them to
do the work on. But
then, we had another one of
those lovely Quality Improvement Meetings and several people remarked
that they had "questions" about how Owner Codes went about getting
changed and “Ken” leapt at the opportunity and
whump!
I am now a Continuous Quality Improvement Team of
one (1). My Project:
Improve the "Changing Owner
Codes" Process.
There are some definite advantages to having only
one person on your team. Setting
up meetings, for example, is much easier.
And, you don't have to write legibly enough for someone else to
be able to read your meeting notes.
In the same Quality Improvement Meeting, “Ken”
decided that improving the Destruction Approval Tracking System, another
of my functions, didn't need to be a "CQI Project".
We would just do it.
Which is to say, I will "just do
it".
It's not a Project, you understand.
But, in my opinion, if it looks
like a duck, sits like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it'll take of
just as much time as a “real" Project.
Actually, the "project" consists largely of
teaching some of the records clerks in “Livermore” how to count boxes
and then turning the whole kit-and-caboodle over to them.
The best way to "improve"
something is to get rid of it.
In other news…
The moment of truth arrived Wednesday morning, when
we each received a "Confidential" envelope containing our "Voluntary
Severance Package". I looked at
mine just long enough to find out how much money the Company was willing
to pay to get rid of me ($34,000+) and to decide that I can't live on
that for the rest of my life. I'm
not planning on taking the package.
“Ashley”, on the other hand, practically had it
signed before he got it out of the envelope; then just about tripped
“Ken” in the hallway in his eagerness to hand it in.
Figuratively, speaking, of
course: “Ken” just got back from
knee surgery and is in no condition to leap at or be tripped over
anything.
All of this business of work-force reduction has
set off some gallows humor. I've
seen one "Company Update", dated 1 April 2000, in which CEO “Freddy
Johnson” is supposed to be announcing the termination of the last of the
managers, since there were no employees left to manage or supervise.
There is also an "Old Company" versus "New Company"
conversion chart making the rounds. Example:
Old Name, "Company Corp."; New Name, "Commonwealth of Independent
Strategic Business Units".
Old Slogan, "Better Than The Best"; New Slogan, "We
Have Nowhere To Go But Up".
On a brighter note…
Lately, I've been seeing something that hasn't put
in an appearance for about five years. Old
friends that are appearing in people's front yards, on hillsides, along
the roads and freeways.
California Poppies!
Hundreds of them. Evidently
the nice rain that we got last month was just what they've been waiting
for.
Love, as always,
Pete
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