March 13, 1991
Dear Everyone:
First and foremost, congratulations to “Richard” and “Marge”
upon the announcement of their upcoming nuptials.
And isn’t it handy that we’re all already scheduled to be in town
that day?
“Jeannie” and I are dieting furiously (excluding weekly
visits to Fuddruckers, of course) in order to be svelte for the
momentous occasion.
Not to change the subject, but…Christmas.
There are only 284 shopping days left.
Late last year, there was considerable debate about how we should
handle Christmas gift giving for this year.
However, no conclusion was reached (kind of like my office).
So, I have decided to take it upon myself (with assistance
from “Jeannie” and Mother) to call for a Vote.
The Options, as I heard them last year, are as follows:
Option 1
Pull names out of a hat.
Each person gets one name and persents a Christmas gift to that one
person. The advantages are
less time and money spent on a myriad of “small” gifts and less ear and
tear on the shoppers. Also,
yo can get one really “nice” gift for someone for the same amount of
money as you would spend getting many things for everybody.
(This is not to suggest that anyone gets anybody anything that
isn’t “nice”. But you get
the picture.)
Disadvantages:
The possibility of getting your own name and having to go back to square
one. Also, who pulls the
names? (“Jeannie” has lots
of hats. Just a suggestion.)
Option 2
Flip a coin. Heads:
you get something for your next older sibling.
Tails: you get
something for your next younger sibling.
The advantages are the same as above:
Less time and money spent on shopping, etc.
This is not intended to mean that we don’t all love to spend
hours shopping and finding the perfect gift for each brother and sister;
but bear in mind, postal rates just went up again.
Disadvantages:
Who flips the coin? And
when? Also, after a few
years, it could get boring always getting something for one of the same
two people. I mean, how many
neckties do “Byron” and “Richard” really want?
Option 3
A variation of Option 2.
Start with the next older sibling this year.
Next year, go to the one after that.
Example: This year,
“Byron” would get “Frankie”; “Frankie” would get “Alice” (and “Kelly”,
of course). Next year,
“Byron” gets “Alice”; “Frankie” goes to “Jeannie”.
And so on. Advantages
and disadvantages are pretty much as before.
Option 4
Continue with our delightfully chaotic method of every man for himself
and trying to put together consortiums at the last minute.
With this week’s letter you will find a Ballot and a
pre-addressed, stamped envelope.
Simply mark your Ballot, put it in the envelope and drop it in
the mail box. If you don’t
like any of the options, feel free to suggest something else.
All answers will be strictly confidential.
You do not need to sign your name.
Ignore the fact that we’ll recognize your handwriting and the
postmark on the envelope.
“Jeannie” and I will tally the results and confer with
Mother. In the event of a
tie, Mother will cast the deciding vote.
If you don’t wish to participate, go ahead and peel the stamp off
the envelope and use it to pay a bill.
“Jeannie” and I will take non-returned Ballots as proxies to be
voted by us.
If you have any question, call us at (415) 555-7334 or (415)
555-1559.
Have fun with it.
Love, as always,
Pete
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