November 23, 2018
Dear Everyone:
I hope everybody had a
Happy Thanksgiving.
Shortly before the Holiday, I was on my way somewhere and wanted to be
sure that I had the right amount of cash on hand.
I knew exactly what I was going to get and how much it would
cost; and having the exact amount ready would eliminate unnecessary time
waiting for change.
There was only one problem:
I didn’t have enough
quarters.
Typically, when I had too much change, I would deposit many of
the quarters in a small plastic bowl in a corner of the kitchen counter,
or in the coin box in my car.
Then, when I needed quarters, I would simply scoop a number out
of the bowl or coin box. In
this case, the “well” had gone dry.
So, I “borrowed” a dollar’s worth of quarters from the Emergency Fund,
with a mental note to replace them as soon as possible.
Then I thought, why?
I’ve had this Emergency Fund for eighteen years and I’ve never had to
use it for an emergency.
Occasionally, as a convenience; but never for an actual emergency.
So why have it at all?
Well, obviously, because you never know when an actual emergency will
happen.
I am reminded of a story a co-worker we’ll call “Gertrude” told me at
work one day. She had been
out the evening before with her boyfriend, “Heathcliff”.
They were in his van, which was parked near his apartment
building in
Pleasant Hill.
According to “Gertrude”, they weren’t doing anything “illegal, immoral
or fattening”. In other
words, actually in “Gertrude’s” words:
“We weren’t doing anything my
mother couldn’t have seen!”
Suddenly, there was a pounding on the van’s door.
When they peered out, two uniformed Pleasant Hill police officers
wanted to speak with “Heathcliff”.
Apparently, they had done a “routine check” on the van and
discovered that “Heathcliff” had acquired an unfortunate accumulation of
parking violations.
This was well before
cell phones.
Well before
ATMs. The
whole thing culminated around two in the morning with “Gertrude” taping
a note to “Heathcliff’s” apartment door for his roommate:
“Dear ---:
“’Heathcliff’ urgently needs your help at the Pleasant Hill Police
Station. PS.
Bring $100 cash!”
Having some cash on hand for emergencies can be very handy.
"Jeannie"
used to take a couple hundred dollars out of the ATM and stash
them in her copy of
Bartlett’s
Familiar Quotations, a gift to her from her parents on the occasion
of her high school graduation.
Her friend, "DeeDee" got a new car.
"Jeannie" got Bartlett’s Familiar Quotations.
When we would get together for a movie, or lunch, on the weekend,
especially when it was her turn to pay, I would ask if she had any
money. Her reply:
“I don’t know. Look in
Bartlett’s.”
And I would go to the bookshelf and leaf through the book until a few
$20’s fell out. Or not, as
the case may be.
I first put together a genuine Emergency Fund around the time of
Y2K.
Anybody remember Y2K?
The year was 1999 and computer specialists around the globe were warning
that the whole computer-managed world might come crashing down when the
calendar rolled around to 2000.
Early computer programs were limited to no more than
80-characters per line, so everyone abbreviated the year to just the
last two numbers. After all,
everyone knew that “00” meant “1900”, right?
Except that computers might not know that “00” could also mean
“2000” and might freeze in indecision.
There were dire warnings that banks might have to stay closed for an
unknown amount of time.
Businesses might not be able to stay in business; or worse, might
suddenly require “cash only”. No
way to get cash.
Unscrupulous shop owners might decide to be “unable” to give out change.
So a $5 item might suddenly go only for $20 if that was all you
had.
So I decided to “invest” in an Emergency Fund, complete with large and
small bills and enough change to hold me over until the crisis passed.
Of course, the crisis never happened, in part because of people like me
who worked tireless hours to ensure that “critical” systems would still
operate. And yes, I rolled
out of bed bright and early on
New Year’s Day, drove to the office and
confirmed that all of our systems were working just fine.
Eighteen years later, the Emergency Fund is still sitting in a cashbox
in a safe location in my
condo.
The corresponding key is sitting in another location.
If you know both locations, or have a screwdriver handy, you can
get into the cashbox and get at a couple hundred dollars’ worth of cash.
Or you can grab a small handful of quarters as needed.
Love, as always,
Pete
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