October 21, 2016
Dear Everyone:
Last Tuesday was the
final Presidential Debate of 2016, thank the gods.
It started out well.
Trump
was cool, calm and collected.
At first.
He started out by addressing the
“Tape-Gate” scandal in which he denied
everything and tried to blame the whole thing on the
Tooth Fairy, or the
Democrats, or anybody other than himself.
Then he got rattled and started fiddling with the microphone.
And sipping from his water glass.
Remember when he made fun of
“Little Marco” Rubio for doing the
exact same thing?
Clinton was poised, prepared and polite.
At first. Then she
got out the needles and started poking The Bear.
Remember the Good Old Days, when guys like
Aaron Burr and
Alexander
Hamilton only
tried to kill each other?
Who “won” the debate?
Everybody says Clinton won.
And Everybody says Trump won.
It all depends on which Everybody you listen to.
Imagine that this was a
figure skating competition:
Clinton won because she executed a perfect
quadruple axel.
Trump won because he didn’t fall flat on his face.
Trump has claimed that
Donna Brazile, newly-appointed head of the
DNC,
“gave” Clinton the questions and answers ahead of time.
In fact, everyone knew what the framework would be weeks in
advance. They were announced
by the
Commision on Presidential Debates.
The actual questions were determined by the
Moderator, so how
would Brazile even know what they were?
It would be like raiding your history teacher’s desk for the answers to
the chemistry exam.
Question: What’s the
Periodic Table symbol for
sodium?
Answer:
Andrew
Jackson!
Question: Name three people
you would nominate to the
Supreme Court and explain to us why you chose
those individuals. Answer:
She wants to take away our guns!!!
In the end, Donny the Trumpet took very, very careful aim and firmly
shot himself in the foot.
Then he stuffed that foot into his mouth by threatening to hold the
entire democratic process hostage to his own ego, announcing that he
would, or would not, accept the election results, but would not say
which just yet. “I want to
keep you in suspense.” Does
he honestly believe that this is all just a game show, with the
Presidency as First Prize?
What does he think Second Prize is?
In the meantime, the
Republican Party is scrambling in all directions,
trying to salvage the “Down-Ballot” and not go down with The Good Ship
Donny-Drop.
“Yes, Mr. Trump said that, but we should really be talking about FIB!!!
(FIB = Fill In Blank.)
His daughter, Ivanka, tells the people not to worry that her father says
vile things about women. He
says vile things about men, too.
So, her argument is, “Vote for him because he’s vile to
everyone”?
As for the Democrats, they are working harder than ever to avoid
becoming complacent.
As Yogi Berra once said, “It ain’t over ‘til it’s over.”
In less than three weeks.
Then we’ll see what really happens.
Go Cubs! (It ain’t over
yet.)
Love, as always,
Pete
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