July 26, 2013
Dear Everyone:
Back in “The Good Old Days”, when a worker got hurt on the job, it was
considered his own darned fault.
Especially by the company which had a vested interest in making
sure it didn’t have to pay any money out to said worker.
Over time,
legislation was passed and more workers became “compensated”
for their on-the-job injuries.
Companies began to buy
insurance.
Some workers became adept at “gaming the system”, turning minor
“injuries” into bonanzas.
Insurance rates went up.
In an effort to reduce their rates, some companies invested in “safety
protocols” to make their workplaces more “user friendly”.
This was what is known as a “win-win” scenario:
The Company lowered its insurance premiums and the workers had a
safer environment.
Everybody’s happy.
Most of these efforts took place in the factories, not in the offices.
How could you possibly get hurt working in an office?
Enter the Computer.
As more and more people spent their waking hours working on computer
keyboards, new problems began to appear.
People began to develop “repetitive stress injuries” from
pounding keys and slave-driving their mouse.
I use to know someone who was one of the first cases in the Company.
She was a friend-of-a-friend and also happened to use the same
hairdresser as “Jeannie” and I did.
Over time, using the keyboard caused
Carpal Tunnel Syndrome that
became so bad she could barely hold up anything as “heavy” as a pack of
cigarettes.
Her doctor ordered her to stop working for at least a year.
Of course, the Company objected, requiring a “second opinion”
from a Company doctor. To
their surprise, the Company doctor declared that her injury was even
worse than her own doctor had said it was.
Happily, she did recover at least to some degree.
But the handwriting was on the wall:
People were getting hurt in the office and it was costing
companies a lot of money.
Up until then, an office worker was expected to adjust to the furniture
supplied. Desk too high?
Raise the chair. Feet
can’t reach the floor now?
Put a phone book under them.
As the number of claims grew, and the payments went up, companies began
to invest in more “ergonomic” furniture.
Ditto specialists to “train” you in how to use said furniture.
I used to work with a Contractor who did work all over the
Bay Area.
He once confided in me:
“When you work for Bank of (fill-in-blank), they don’t care if
you trip and break your neck.
But at your office, the minute you walk in the door they start
wrapping you in cotton wool.”
Well, things could be worse, couldn’t they?
Now we have a software application installed on all Company computers.
We’ll call it “WorkFrayed”.
WorkFrayed monitors your every move on the computer.
Keystrokes, mouse moves, etc.
When WorkFrayed thinks you’re working too hard, it interrupts you
with something called a “micropause”.
This is a little “box” that appears on the screen.
You can ignore it, for a little while.
Keep on typing, and so on, and the edges of the little “box” turn
red. Then, suddenly, the
keys don’t work and the mouse is ignoring you.
You can’t go any further until the red outline goes all the way
around and the micropause is completed.
It takes about 10 seconds.
Naturally, this happens at the worst possible moment.
You have the perfect idea for the perfect presentation and, as
you’re typing it all in before you get interrupted and lose your train
of thought…you get interrupted and lose your train of thought.
WorkFrayed is saving you from yourself.
So you wait 10 seconds, probably checking your Smart Phone for something
(thus defeating the ergonomic intention), and then you get back to work.
But WorkFrayed has other tricks in its arsenal.
Say “Hello!” to the Mandatory WorkFrayed Break.
This one lasts five minutes and has been known to drive people
screaming from the room. How
does it know just when you’re five minutes away from a Very Important
Meeting or leaving for the day?
Of course, people who work with computers all day know there is a way to
“Outfox User-Friendly”. It
took some of them seconds to figure out how to shut WorkFrayed down, and
even less time to show their cohorts how to do it.
Naturally, management loves WorkFrayed.
It provides such nifty “metrics”.
How many people get micro paused how many times per
day/week/month. And which
people shut WorkFrayed off at the beginning of each day.
Big Brother at Work.
But I know a way to get “around” it.
(Shh. Don’t tell
anyone!) When I get up from
my desk, to go to the printer or start another cup of tea, or something,
I kick off a WorkFrayed Break.
While I’m gone, WorkFrayed is fooled into thinking I’m following
its cute, little exercises.
And it reports back to management that I’m a good corporate citizen.
Ha, ha.
Love, as always,
Pete
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