August 17, 2012
Dear Everyone:
How To Solve A Software Programming Error:
Option One:
Reassign the problem to someone else.
Problem Solved.
Option Two:
Report the problem “Fixed”.
Since it usually takes a day or so for someone to look into it, Problem
Solved.
Option Three:
Declare the problem OOTB.
(Out Of The Box.) This
places the blame on the original software manufacturer.
Problem Solved.
Option Four:
Declare that it’s “not a problem; it’s an enhancement!”
Problem Solved.
Option Five:
Close the problem. Open it
as a new problem. Since
management only cares about the number of problems “Closed”, Problem
Solved. Plus, you earn extra
points when you Close it again.
What do these Options all have in common?
Right; none of them
addresses the actual problem.
Now you’re catching on.
The thing about software programmers is that they
like to “improve” things, including things that don’t necessarily need
improving. Just look at the
most common applications that we all use, more or less.
Word processing.
Originally, it was an alternative to the plain, old typewriter.
Allowed you to “write” the whole thing, edit, word-smith, check
spelling and so on. When it
was “ready” you clicked “print” and it came out on paper.
Then they started “improving” it.
Like having the system “assume” that you
want spacing added before and
after paragraphs. Who asked
for that?
Columns.
Used columns lately?
I use it about once each year, when I want a list to print all on one
page. Other than that, not
so much.
Spell-check?
Oh, please. How many
times do I need to be told that “Jeannie” is misspelled?
And that’s the simple stuff.
Take a program designed to help manage Service Requests.
Now add the ability to schedule common, repeatable tasks, like
washing the windows once per year.
But wait! Why not add
“Opportunities”? How about
qualifying for “green buildings”, whatever that means.
While you’re at it, let’s take the applying-for-funds process,
staggeringly complex in itself, and complicate it with dozens of
interlinking fields in hundreds of tables.
Think:
Filling out tax forms while undergoing a
root canal.
Without Novocain.
And, once you make all those “improvements”, they
have to be tested.
So “Ludmilla” is happily churning out “test
scripts” so blindingly complex that they would make building the
Taj
Mahal look simple by comparison.
And loudly complaining that “these people don’t know how to
test!”
Naturally.
I keep reminding myself, “It’s not your job to
fix her.” Just ramble
through the tests and keep smiling.
Love, as always,
Pete
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