April 18, 2001
Dear Everyone:
As hard as it may be to believe, “Jeannie” and I actually went to a movie last Sunday. (I know, it was Easter Sunday. But we figured there would be less of a line at the door since only heathens would be there. And we were right.) We haven’t been to a movie together since Traffic in February. I guess we hit a dry spell.
Anyway, we went to see Bridget Jones’s Diary. This is a thoroughly enjoyable, light comedy about a 20-something British woman who eats too much, drinks too much, smokes too much and can’t find a man on her own (her mother keeps trying to set her up). In an effort to improve herself, Bridget starts a diary to keep track of her progress. In one year, she loses 72 pounds, and gains 74.
Renee Zellweger plays Bridget, in spite of the fact that she hails from Texas. She does a fine job coming across as middle-class English. The two men in her life (such as it is) are Daniel (Hugh Grant), her boss and Mark (Colin Firth), a distant friend of the family (and equally set up by his own mother, friend of Bridget’s mother).
In standard casting, Grant would have played Mark, and Firth would have played Daniel. These are the types of characters each usually plays. By switching them, the director does a pleasant job of going against type and keeping the audience guessing as to which pairing up with Bridget to root for. And Bridget, as one of those of us who aren’t perfect, is delightful.
In other news…
Since I had some time off last week, I decided to work a little bit on the Home Electrical Safety Audit that was handed out to us a few weeks ago.
They’re very big on Safety at work. There is a new program in place where you can earn stamps towards nifty things in a catalog by performing certain Safety rituals. One of these rituals is attending the quarterly Safety Meeting.
And, to encourage employees to attend these quarterly Safety Meetings, and thus acquire Safety Stamps, the Powers That Be have decreed that all quarterly Safety Meetings shall be mandatory. Last quarter’s Safety Meeting was on the subject of electricity. (They’re trying to make the Safety Meeting subjects “topical” and the current – no pun intended – atmosphere of electricity deprivation and expense seemed like a good subject. We already have a pool going that this quarter’s Safety Meeting subject will be – again, no pun intended – water sport safety.)
So we got to watch a truly dumb video skit on the dangers of electricity (don’t stick a metal fork into an outlet), followed by a fairly informative speech from the guy whose company has the contract for electrical work at Company facilities in our area. For good measure, they passed out copies of the aforementioned U.S. Consumer Products Safety Commission’s Home Electrical Safety Audit.
Then someone on the Safety Committee decided that you could earn ten Safety Stamps by performing this audit in your home. Deadline is the end of this quarter (June 30th). Some people were so eager to turn in the audit that they didn’t even wait until they got home; just filled out the form and turned it in. I intend to be a little more thorough. (I also intend to find out if I can earn another ten Stamps by performing an audit on “Jeannie’s” place, she who set her cat’s tail on fire.)
So, the audit. Some of the questions insinuate that people can be pretty dumb when it comes to dealing with electricity. I’ll just mark them automatically as “Yes”.
Example: Are the bulbs the appropriate wattage for the size of the lamp fixture? Of course. I never go higher than 75 watts in a table lamp, or 60 watts in an overhead fixture. No higher than 150 in three-way lamps. And I can safely report that “Jeannie” never puts anything higher than 25 watts in anything.
Are cords placed out of the traffic areas? Naturally. Draping cords across doorways is something I’m not about to do. Skip to more interesting questions.
Are all extension cords equipped with safety covers on the unused receptacles? They are if they came that way.
Are all extension cords being used only on a temporary basis? Absolutely. Some of them have been temporary for over three years now.
Do all unused outlets have safety covers placed in receptacle openings? Shock hazard can result if small children insert objects into outlets. Now, let’s be reasonable. I have no small children in my home. I have no intention of admitting small children into my home. If a burglar chooses to invade my property, bringing his nefarious gang of felonious toddlers with him, they can bloody well take their chances.
On to televisions, radios and other home entertainment equipment. Is the equipment placed so that the cord will not trip someone walking by? Do you think I’m going to risk my TV and VCR to some klutz who can’t keep his feet to himself? Of course I’m going to protect those all-important cords.
Now the kitchen. Are all counter-top appliances unplugged when not in use? Now, wait a minute. There are only two appliances in my kitchen: The can opener, which is bolted to the underside of a cabinet; and the microwave oven. Am I going to unplug the microwave, then plug it back in (and reprogram it) every time I need to use it? I think not. As for the can opener, it’s bolted to the cabinet. It is not going to try and fling itself into the sink, or the oven.
Check for Ground Fault Circuit Interrupters (GFCI). GFCI’s can prevent many electrocutions. Are the circuits providing power to the counter top outlets equipped with GFCI’s? No. Consider having GFCI’s installed. I’m considering it. Also the bathrooms. I’m also considering how much it will cost to have an electrician in to replace the outlets.
What about electric blankets? Are they in good condition? Let me tell you why I don’t have electric blankets in my home:
Remember back in the ‘60’s when electric blankets were all the rage? Everyone in the family had one, including “Richard”. “Richard” liked to roll up in his electric blanket. One night, “Richard” was awakened by a crackling, snapping noise. Also the smell of smoke. Something like the following conversation ensued:
“Richard”: “’Marshall’?”
“Marshall”: “Yeah.”
“Richard”: “You hear that?”
“Marshall”: “Yeah.”
“Richard”: “You smell that?”
“Marshall”: “Yeah.”
“Richard”: “Think I should tell Dad?”
“Marshall”: “Might be a good idea.”
Skipping ahead to the bottom line, “Richard’s” mattress ended up in the backyard. When we looked at it the following morning, there was nothing left but the frame, springs and about two square feet of smoldering cover.
This is one reason why I don’t have electric blankets in my home. The other reason is that God saw fit to place down comforters upon the earth.
Although I will admit, I’ve never asked the geese how they feel about it.
Love, as always,
Pete
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