February 15, 1996
Dear Everyone:
“Jeannie” continues
to collect geezerisms. Last
Sunday, while we were at the movies (more about that later), she came up
with two more. “You may be a
geezer (5 points) if...You can remember
double features.”
“...You remember when the movie cost more than the popcorn.”
Shucks, I can beat
that! I remember when movies
cost 75¢ and there was no
money for popcorn. Which is
one reason why I’m glad I’m all grown up, with my own paycheck and can
squander money on popcorn if I want to, even if I do know it’s not good
for me.
In other news...
About men who hold
up traffic while they carefully back their vehicles into public parking
spaces so they can make a quick getaway in the evening.
I wondered what they did with the 3-5 seconds that they save at
night. Recently, I found out
exactly what they do with the time.
They use it to back their vehicle into their parking space or
driveway at home...so they can make a quick start in the morning.
Since this seems to
occur mostly in men, “Jeannie” and I have theorized that there is a
recessive “backward parking gene” on the
X chromosome.
In women, this is successfully masked by the more dominant
“normal parking gene” on the other X chromosome.
Sort of like
male
pattern baldness that passes from father to daughter to grandson.
There could be a grant out there somewhere for anyone who wants
to follow this up with a study.
As for the
weather...
Even in California
we don’t expect a heat wave in February.
March, maybe. April,
more likely than not. But
February? Luckily, around
here there’s no snow to melt and flood the rivers like Oregon and
Washington. And it’s rather
nice not having to deal with a big, heavy coat just because it’s
supposed to be the dead of winter.
Movies...
Broken
Arrow.
This thing is all over the Internet.
The studios are discovering that this is a relatively inexpensive
way to advertise. Wherever
you go, you seem to bump into a link that takes you to
Broken Arrow, the hero
(details), the villain (more details), the nuclear warheads (endless
details).
The title refers to
the term used by the military when a nuclear device decides to up and
toddle away without leave.
Says one character, “I don’t know which is worse, the fact that we’ve
lost one, or that we’ve done it enough times to have a name for it.”
Reminds me of the
time a woman received a letter with the words “Mis-sent to Indonesia”
stamped on the envelope. Not
only had the Postal Service
sent it to the wrong hemisphere, but they actually had a rubber stamp
for the occasion.
In
Broken Arrow, the bad guy, played by
John Travolta,
decides to steal a couple of nuclear warheads and hold them, and the
country, for ransom. Pay up,
or he’ll blow up some city or other.
The good guy,
Christian Slater,
tries to get them back. As
an action thriller, it’s OK, following the adage, when in doubt,
substitute pyrotechnics for logic.
The best of these
thrillers have really good villains.
In
Die Hard,
Bruce Willis
faced Alan Rickman
and Alexander
Godunov. In
Speed
(same screenwriter
as Broken Arrow),
Keanu Reeves
went up against
Dennis Hopper, who has made a career out playing delusional and
dangerous. Unfortunately for
Slater, he’s facing off with...John Travolta???
The guy tries to look menacing and
cute at the same time.
Slater tries to play
it straight, but Travolta keeps leaving footprints on the ceiling.
Nevertheless, there’s plenty of action, if that’s what you want,
including, if you will, a nuclear explosion.
And that’s only halfway through the picture.
Certainly worth a few laughs and the matinee price.
If you do go to see it, try to keep count of how many helicopters
they use.
Love, as always,
Pete
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