February 8, 1996
Dear Everyone:
“Jeannie” has begun
collecting “geezerisms”. A
geezerism is anything that indicates that you might be becoming a
geezer. This is a result of
reading an article in the newspaper in which a columnist pointed out
that the Baby Boomers
(people born in the United States between the end of
World War II and
1965) are starting to get “old”.
However, the Baby
Boom lasted 20 years. While
some at the front end of this demographic bulge (like “Frankie”) may be
looking at the down side of 50, those at the other end (like “Alice”)
may still regard themselves as frolicsome youngsters.
To determine where you are in the geezerdom spectrum, “Jeannie”
and I have compiled a simple test.
Just answer the following questions honestly and add up your
score at the end. You can
use the margin on the left to mark your points.
Simple Geezer Test
If you can remember
any President before
Ike, give
yourself 5 points.
If you don’t know
who Ike was, give yourself 1 point.
If you remember
going to drive-in
movies, 5 points.
If you thought
drive-ins were only for holding
flea markets, 1
point.
If you remember
mimeographs, 5
points.
If you haven’t a
clue how people made copies before
Xerox, 1 point.
If a ‘coonskin
cap and a guy named “Davy”
were once the center of your life, give yourself 5 points.
If your response to
the previous question is, “Say what?”, 1 point.
If you remember when
paperback books
cost 50 cents, and couldn’t wait to get your hands on the next
James Bond novel,
you get 5 points.
If you think $6.95
for a paperback is reasonable and are waiting for the next
Start
Trek knockoff, you get 1 point.
If you remember
black and white
TV, 5 points.
If you can’t even
remember hearing, “The following program is brought to you in
living color”, 1
point.
If you know who
Spin and Marty
were, you get 5 points.
If you think Spin
and Marty is something the mechanic does to your car every 15,000 miles,
you get 1 point.
If you ever owned a
Hula Hoop, 5
points.
If you still own a
skateboard, 1
point.
If you can remember
all of Elizabeth
Taylor’s husbands, you get 5 points.
If you can remember
any of Elizabeth Taylor’s
husbands, you get 3 points.
If you can’t think of a single one of Liz’s husbands, you get 1 point.
That’s it.
Now just add up your points and consult the following to
determine your status.
If you scored 60, or
higher, you were cheating.
There aren’t that many points to begin with.
And stop being so competitive.
If you scored 50, or
higher, you are definitely staring geezerhood in the face.
But you still can’t join the
AARP. until you actually
retire.
If you scored 10, or
lower, you are hopelessly immature and probably shouldn’t be driving
yet.
If you scored
between 15 and 45, you’re, well, let’s just call it “well-rounded”.
In other news...
“Jeannie” and I went
to see
Mr. Holland’s
Opus last Saturday, but it sold out just before we got there.
So we went to lunch and to a doll shop that I’d been telling
“Jeannie” about. (They have
lots of Muffy VanderBear Wear.)
But the doll shop was closed because most of the dolls had gone
on a field trip to a doll show.
So far, 0 for 0.
But we went back on
Sunday and managed to see Mr.
Holland after all. Note:
The theater was full.
This is a kind of To Sir,
With Love for the ‘90’s, with music.
A composer reluctantly takes a teaching job just to pay the bills
for a little while. 30 years
later, he’s still teaching.
Richard Dreyfuss
plays the teacher.
Jay Thomas is
great as the
phys ed teacher who befriends, and coerces, the new guy.
Terrific make up and costuming jobs.
Filmed in
Portland, which was our real reason for going to see it.
Not much rain, for a
Portland setting, but lots of good music, both from the classics and
from Michael Kamen
who has scored well over a dozen movies and who got to write a symphony
this time because that’s what the teacher keeps trying to do in his
“spare” time. Heartwarming
as all get out. Three
hankies, minimum.
Love, as always,
Pete
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