July 25, 1990
Dear Everyone:
When the going gets tough, the tough go shopping.
It began with a swimsuit.
“Jeannie” had told me that Sunriver has swimming pools and spas
and other inducements to getting wet and exposing yourself to natural
ultraviolet light. To
participate in these activities, one needs suitable attire.
I can’t remember the last time I bought a swimsuit, but I figured
it was time to do it again.
When I attended “Ashley Holtz’s” First Annual New
Orleans Style Crawfish Festival a couple of months ago, several people
who could charitably be referred to as “full-figured” showed up with
swim suits to play in the pool.
I decided that if they could find suits that fit, I could, too.
It was just a matter of knowing where to look.
So I called Friday night and left a message on
“Jeannie’s” phone machine:
Let’s go shopping!
Mindful of the fact that I would be in the company
of an Olympic Class “mallie”, I did not plan anything else for Saturday.
Before I left in the morning, I programmed the VCR for anything I
might want to watch that night.
Good thing, too.
First we went to a movie:
Navy Seals.
Skip it. Just
violence from a bunch of guys who have nothing better to do with their
spare time than tear up a golf course playing “polo” with the carts.
People who revere golf courses should
definitely avoid this movie.
Then we went to The Mall.
Standard Operating Procedure:
check out the cosmetic counters at both Macy’s and Emporium
before making any purchases.
This is because of Freebies and P-With-P’s.
Freebies are not actually free; they are something you get free
of charge provided you by $X.00 worth of products.
“Yours free with a
purchase of $10.00 or more.”
P-With-P’s are called Purchase-With-Purchase:
“A $50.00 value, yours for only $15.00 when you buy one of
these.”
The object here is to determine first, do you want
the Freebie or P-With-P; second, is there anything you want/need that
you can buy that will get you the Freebie, etc.
Furthermore, since Macy’s and Emporium are competitors, each
manufacturer has different
Freebies, etc. for each store.
An you thought shopping was simple.
Having bought several Lancôme things I could
probably live my whole life without, we went off in search of swim suits
at Macy’s. We found a woman
sitting at an information desk strategically located at the up-scalator
to catch people who might not already have Macy’s credit cards.
“Jeannie” asked about swim suits.
Information, looking at “Jeannie”, then glancing at
me: “For you?”
“Jeannie”:
“No.”
Information:
“Women’s World.
Downstairs in the back.”
(That figures.)
So we took the down-scalator and found Women’s World and, Yes!
They had swim suits. Swim
suits not designed for size 3 teenagers.
Swim suits designed for human bodies, rather than for plastic
mannequins. There were even
several that I liked well enough to try on.
And even one that fit great and didn’t look like something out of
a circus.
Very pleased, I got out my credit card and headed
for the cashier. But then, a
skirt caught my eye. It was
a simple cotton-polyester blend knit skirt, just the thing for Casual
Day. Now that every Friday
is Casual Day, I’m going to need more than just one pair of jeans and a
few T-shirts. So I asked
“Jeannie” to wait while I tried one on.
This, too, fit well and I liked it, so I decided to buy it.
It was at roughly this point that “Jeannie” went
wild. “Try this on.”
“Try this on!”
“This color would look great on you, try it on.”
“Try this one; I want to know what your size is.”
(As if I’d know.) All
this with the enthusiastic help of a salesman who was more than willing
to help us spend money.
“You need new suits.
I’m tired of your
wardrobe!” Now really, just
because I’ve been wearing the same gray flannel wool suit for I don’t
know how many years. After
all, Barney Miller said that a good suit
should last 10 years.
OK, OK, so the hem on the skirt
has worn completely
threadbare; the jacket’s still good.
That’s because, while a skirt stays on all day, the jacket
generally hangs on the back of the chair all day.
Alright, it’s true:
I’ve had the patterns for so long the manufacturer had re-used
the numbers twice. But it’s
such an accommodating style!
Whenever I gain/lose weight, all I have to do to let it out or take it
in is move a couple of buttons.
That’s better than going out and buying new clothes every year,
isn’t it?
I guess I don’t have the proper shopper’s
mentality.
I did ultimately escape Women’s World with just the
swimsuit and skirt. On our
way to Penney’s, to look for a new purse, something else I don’t buy
often, we passed Shreve jewelers, which was having a sale.
Somehow, the juxtaposition of the concepts “jewelry” and “reduced
price” has the effect of a narcotic on “Jeannie”.
After a while, we continued to Penney’s and bought me a purse and
“Jeannie” a(nother) hat.
“Jeannie” likes hats.
Having exhausted what the Sun Valley Mall had to
offer, we went to the Broadway “outdoor mall” in Walnut Creek where we
painted T-shirts for about an hour.
By this time, it was getting late in the day and we were hungry
and it was hot, so we decided to go back to “Jeannie’s” place and walk
over to Fuddruckers for hamburgers and Long Island Iced Teas.
Fuddruckers has “slushies” in all kinds of inviting flavors like
Margaritas, Daiquiris and such, super cold and mildly alcoholic in
nature.
The Long Island Iced Tea machine was empty, so we
settled for something called a Lynchburg Lemon which turned out to be
lemonade with rum added. And
“Jeannie” proved once again that your eyes can be bigger than your tummy
by ordering the half-pound burger and not being able to finish it.
By the time I got home, my feet had blisters on
them. I dragged all of my
purchases with me, stopping at the mail box where I found,
appropriately, my Macy’s bill, dropped everything on the floor in the
living room and, I think, I was in bed and asleep by 8:30.
That’s enough shopping for a while, although… the
sale at Macy’s ends August 6, when we’ll be in Oregon.
Since I’ll be on vacation next week, and since there are usually
fewer shoppers at The Mall on weekdays, maybe next Monday or Tuesday
I’ll just slip back and take another look at those suits.
Love, as always,
Pete
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