Love, As Always, Pete

The Weekly Letters, by A. Pedersen Wood

April 30, 2021

Dear Everyone:

Family Motto (one of them):  “If at first, you don’t succeed…give up skydiving.”

Murphy’s Law:  “If it says, ‘One Size Fits All’, it doesn’t fit anyone.”

Further adventures in “Do It Yourself” (DIY).

I had decided to make a “holder” for my 10-inch-by-7-inch tablet so I could watch TV shows while peddling on my exercise bike, “Seymour”.

I cut a piece of felt about 12 inches by about eight.  I added a casing about an inch around to hold a ½-inch-in-diameter wooden dowel at the top.  Then I added a smaller casing at the bottom for a S¼-inch dowel.

I cut a piece of the ¼-inch dowel to a length of 12 inches.  When I slide the dowel inside the casing, I realized that there was no dowel sticking out on either side.  I was suddenly reminded of the age-old carpenters’ adage:  “Measure twice, cut once.”

Fortunately, the dowel was four feet long, so I had some room for error.  Plus, I now know where to find more dowels at the Big Orange Hardware Warehouse Store. 

I cut another piece approximately two inches longer than the first.  This time, the dowel slid easily through the casing, with an inch extending on either side.  When I placed the upper encased dowel on Seymour’s little shelf, the tablet was well positioned for viewing.

This was when I discovered that the extended 14-inch-long piece of dowel at the bottom stuck out precisely in position to jab me in the wrists on both sides when I used Seymour’s handles.

The whole thing was held in place by slipping a one-inch loose leaf ring around each end of the upper dowel, with a large rubber band attached to both rings.  The band went behind the console, easily keeping the tablet in place, while making it possible to remove the entire production at any time.

So far, so good.  I have lots of felt and dowels left over with which to continue experimenting.

In other news…

The Academy Awards presentation was on TV last Sunday.  “Jeannie” decided to come down to my place to watch it with me.  And so I could take a stab at coloring her hair.

When the Pandemic started and everything shut down, “Jeannie’s” hair stylist informed her that the stylist would not be attending to anybody’s hair as her health was more important.  Fair enough.  Since “Jeannie’s” hair is longer than shoulder-length, it only needed trimming from time to time.

However, her hair color was another matter.  “Jeannie” has been keeping her hair the “natural” dark brown color that it was in her thirties.  Gradually, the stylist had been covering more and more gray with brown.

Until now.  For the past year, “Jeannie’s” hair has been growing out at its natural rate, but without any covering color.  A few weeks ago, when I drove up to her place and saw her in the front yard, with her hair piled up on top of her head, she looked just like our Mom:  Short, with gray hair.

In preparation of the Big Hair Coloring Experiment, I obtained a couple of plastic drop cloths from the same Big Orange Hardware Warehouse Store as the aforementioned dowels.  One was probably enough, but they were cheap, and I figured I could always add the left over one to the Emergency Supply Box if we didn’t use it.

“Jeannie” had purchased two complete Hair Color kits, one in dark brown and one in a slightly lighter shade of brown.  I opened both kits and painstakingly read the directions for each.  The directions were virtually identical.  This was not surprising since they were made by the same manufacturer.

Step One (in both cases):  Test for possible allergic reaction at least 24 hours in advance.

Oops.  We set up the test and waited about a half-hour.  No reaction.  Hope for the best.

Unfolded the plastic drop cloth and spread it around “Jeannie’s” shoulders…and the chair…and half the kitchen.  Probably wouldn’t need the second one.

Step Two:  Remove the plastic tip from the provided squeeze bottle.  Then unscrew the cap.

Step Three:  Mix the Color and the Other Stuff in the squeeze bottle.

Step Four:  Apply the Color Combination gel to the roots and then to the rest of the hair.

At first, I assiduously applied the gel at the roots, as I had observed the stylist do it.  Then I realized that there was no need to be as frugal (spelled c-h-e-a-p) as “Jeannie’s” erstwhile stylist.  We had a whole bottle of the stuff to use or throw out.  After that, I liberally squeezed globs of the stuff onto my gloved hands, then smeared it generously over her head until every strand, as far as I could see, was well covered, all the while muttering to myself, “Measure twice, cut once.”  I did try to comb it all through, but that involved tangles and “Jeannie” was completely justified in making squeaky noises of protest.

Then we waited about 40 minutes or so.  When it came time to rinse her hair, I decided to use the second side of the dual kitchen sink as we had no wish to see “Jeannie’s” lengthy locks washing even temporarily down the garbage disposal.

And…voila!  “Jeannie” now had completely brown hair.  It looked pretty good on first inspection.  Whatever spots were missed are now designated as “highlights”.

I haven’t actually seen it since, but I have had reports that it’s “OK”.  Like Seymour’s tablet-holder, it’s all a Work In Progress.

Love, as always,

 

Pete