August 6, 2021
Dear Everyone:
Welcome to the Wonderful World of Bathing.
Try this the next time you take a shower.
Choose a leg, right or left, doesn’t matter.
Stand on that leg alone.
Don’t put the other leg down while you shower, or you will lose
points. Also, you will
receive a staggering jolt of electricity through that leg.
Very painful.
Are we having fun yet?
Fortunately, when I first bought my current
condominium, I had Our Friend the Plumber (who has since retired)
install a handheld shower head.
It has come in handy many times in the past.
I can adjust the height to suit my vertically-challenged self.
Also, it comes in very handy for rinsing the shower walls and tub
after bathing.
However.
When you’re standing on one leg and trying to turn around in the
shower with the handheld in a soapy-slippery hand, it affords the
optimum opportunity to spray water all around the room, reaching even
the furthest corners.
Did I mention the “Transfer Bench”?
This was recommended by the Occupational Therapist.
It spans the outer side of the tub, allowing a person to perch on
the outside of the bench, then slide precariously across into the tub
itself.
Unfortunately, it precludes using a shower
curtain, which makes spraying water all around the room even more
amenable. On the Plus Side:
It allows me to hold onto the bench in desperation while trying
to turn around on only one foot.
On the Delta Side: It
takes up fully half the tub, leaving even less room in which to try to
turn around on one leg.
Nevertheless, I am able to take a shower in
only slightly more time than I could before this Whole Mess got started.
Once the shower is completed, I sit on the Transfer Bench again
in an effort to get out of the tub.
This is when wet skin and the wet surface of the bench manage to
adhere to each other with a speed and tenacity that would put any of the
“Super Glue” products to shame.
It has been three weeks since I was discharged
from the “Post-Acute Rehabilitation Center”, affectionately referred to
as “That Hellhole”. I’ve had
multiple appointments with a Visiting Nurse, an Occupational Therapist
and a Physical Therapist.
The latter two have left me with a plethora of exercises intended to
help me further my recovery from Whatever the Hell That Was.
I also have a Follow Up Appointment with my
Primary Care Physician (PCP) to review everything that happened and
figure out Where We Go From Here.
That is not for another two-and-a-half weeks because, after all,
it’s Summer and even doctors go on Vacation.
In the meantime, things continue to get better, sort of.
Which generally means that the pain goes away
in one area, only to crop up again in another.
My walker is getting a good workout each day.
Notwithstanding everything so far, I’m much
happier at home. Our mother
had some favorite sayings that she would trot out whenever she felt they
were appropriate. One of
them was:
“Into each life some rain must fall.”
Growing up in western Oregon, this was a given.
Another was:
“This too shall pass.”
Frankly, I’m counting on it.
Love, as always,
Pete
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