October 4, 2019
Dear Everyone:
Condominium Remodel, Phase One is complete.
Which is to say, the new windows were installed last week.
Ironically, the day they were finished, and I could finally open
all the windows to enjoy the fresh air, the outside temperature climbed
into the 90’s. So it was a
few days before I could really, really take advantage of having fully
functional windows and screens.
Nevertheless, Phase One of the Remodel Project is completed.
When I ordered the windows from “Augustine”, the salesman, “Chester”,
assured me that the company would take care of all the City Permits and
Homeowner Association (HOA) authorizations required.
I knew that I would need authorization from the HOA because I had
served on the board of both this association and the one from my
previous home. But I had
never heard of needing a permit to replace the windows.
Certainly when I replaced the windows in my old townhouse, the
subject never came up.
Nevertheless, a few weeks ago, a City Permit, all nine pages in
extremely fine print, appeared on my doorstep one day.
And, when the installers appeared to start putting in the new
windows, the lead installer informed me that the City Inspector would be
coming by the morning of the second day of installation.
Now it just so happens that I had actually looked at the Permit; and
stamped on the first page, in red ink, were a couple of notices:
“Where alterations, repairs or additions requiring a permit
occur, SMOKE ALARMS SHALL be installed…”
And “…CARBON MONOXIDE ALARMS SHALL be installed …”
Actually, this did not constitute a difficulty.
There is a smoke alarm in the hallway, one of the kind that is
wired into the ceiling. In
both bedrooms, there are battery-powered alarms, just like the permit
required. Only one problem:
I haven’t replaced the batteries in years.
Yes, I realize that this is remiss and irresponsible of me.
Yes, I know that I should replace the batteries twice each year,
when the time switches from Standard to Daylight Saving and back again,
i.e., the first Sunday in March and November.
I know all that.
I also know that these alarms, like so many, utilize those perfidious
9-volt batteries that engineers seem to love and normal people, like me,
quite naturally hate with a passion.
They are almost as difficult to replace as fluorescent light
tubes.
Both, of course, require teetering on tiptoe on a small step ladder,
while trying to work up over my head and hoping I won’t lose my balance
and end up in a heap on the floor.
All things consider, I’d rather take my chances with frying in a fire.
Which, by the way, hasn’t happened in over 60 years.
However, I didn’t want my new windows to flunk the City Inspection
required by law, so I bought some dreaded 9-volt batteries.
I also dragged the “medium” step ladder in from the outdoor
closet, which did allow me to reach the ceiling without quite risking
life and limb.
When the Inspector arrived, the smoke alarms all contained fresh
batteries. He never even
glanced at them. It turned
out, this was a “preliminary” inspection.
The “final” inspection would have to be scheduled after the
installation was complete.
In fact, the lead installer carefully stuck the tags back onto each
window and solemnly admonished me not to remove them until after the
final inspection. I waited a
few days to hear from “Augustine” about scheduling another inspection.
Apparently, having finished the work, and added about $10,000 to the
balance on my credit card, they figured their part was done.
So I went ahead and scheduled the inspection myself.
Last Wednesday, the same inspector showed up.
He is very tall. In
fact, he actually had to duck his head when coming in through the front
door. He looked at each
window, opened the patio door and checked the seals on the outside, and
even had me open a few of the windows myself.
Then he, quite casually, reached his hand over his head and pressed the
test button on one of the smoke alarms, which cheerfully sent out that
horrible shriek that means the battery is still good.
The inspector happily marked the permit, signed his name and told
me to keep the permit until I sold the condo.
Or the permit would be on file with the City if the realtor cared
to get a copy when it was needed.
He never even asked about the carbon monoxide alarm, but I pointed out
to him that I had one, plugged into a wall socket in the dining room.
Back when “Manny, the Maintenance Guy” did some work on all of
our units, he was required to make sure we all had “mono” alarms in
place. The easiest thing for
him to do was buy them and pass them out to each of us to plug in
somewhere.
So, Phase One is complete and everything is legal.
Phase Two involves replacing one bathtub with a walk-in tub and the
other with a walk-in shower.
All things considered, I think Phase Two can wait until after the
Holidays. There’s no telling
what kind of permits the city will require for them.
I’m not currently in the mood for jumping through any more hoops.
On the other hand, being able to relax in a nice, hot soothing bath will
be nice after hoop-jumping, won’t it?
Love, as always,
Pete
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