September 28, 2018
Dear Everyone:
When I first bought my current
condo, a little
over 9-½ years ago, I didn’t move in right away.
I took my time, had the carpet and things replaced, got all the
rooms repainted, and so on.
But I did immediately start attending the
Homeowner
Association (HOA) meetings.
I had already discovered the advantages of sitting in on the HOA
meetings. I found out when
the buildings were going to be repainted, when the asphalt driveways
would be covered with new slurry, when the electricity or water was
planned to be off. Lots of
useful information comes up in these meetings.
The first meetings here were lively, to say the least, with Standing
Room Only in the Clubhouse.
Sometimes there were shouting matches that almost came to blows.
After all, while these units were originally built as one- and
two-bedroom apartments about 30 years ago, they were only converted into
condominiums by a developer in 2005.
This means the HOA was relatively new and had virtually nothing
in the Reserves to remedy recently discovered issues like
dry rot and leaking
skylights.
After a few years, the most urgent problems were resolved and things
settled down. And I
continued to attend the HOA Meetings about every other month.
Still lots of interesting things going on, such as the Great
Thanksgiving Weekend Emergency Water Shutoff Incident of 2011.
And the current Property Manager, “Michaela”, noticed that I
always came to the meetings
About five years ago, when there was a sudden opening on the Board,
“Michaela” invited me to fill in as a Director.
To which I agreed.
After all, I was on the Board of my previous HOA and the duties
consisted primarily of attending less than a half-dozen meetings per
year and co-signing monthly checks.
Little did I know.
A few months after I joined the Board, the current President asked me to
take charge of the
Petty Cash account. To
which I agreed. Shortly
after that, she sold her unit and moved to be “closer to her
grandchildren”. And before I
knew it, I was the “head” of the Board.
I was also, by this time, in charge of the security software for
both of the swimming pools.
Then the volunteer who handled renting out the Clubhouse flaked out on
us and I wound up taking over that responsibility as well.
Almost before I knew it, I was shouldering pretty much all of the
work not primarily managed by “Michaela”.
Nevertheless, it wasn’t all that bad.
Until “Patty” joined the Board.
By this time, “Maggie” was gone and “Pyewacket” was more than willing to
step down and let “Patty” take over her spot.
And as soon as “Patty” came in she started making herself into a
speed bump.
Whenever any little problem arose, needing approval to take care of it,
“Patty” immediately slowed things down by demanding “at least” three
independent bids for the job.
We tried pointing out to her that we already had vendors who had
been vetted and proved reliable; but that didn’t matter.
“Patty” wanted bids, claiming that she was a “former business
owner” and it was “standard procedure” to get multiple bids for every
little thing. Interestingly
enough, “Patty” never mentioned what kind of “business” she had
previously “owned”.
Things went from bad to worse, until the Fit Hit the Shan over the need
to replace the window blinds in the Fitness Center.
Not only did “Patty” insist on handling everything herself,
resulting in hundreds of dollars in additional costs to the Association,
but she started making unfounded accusations against the other two Board
members, myself and “Phoebe”.
And then it was October.
What happens in October?
Board “election” happens.
Two of the Directorships come up for re-election each year, with the
third overlapping. Suddenly,
there were two new people volunteering to be Board members.
Both friends with “Patty”.
In fact, “Patty” posted signs all around the complex, reminding
residents that the election was coming up, even volunteering to
hand-carry ballots to them and “post” them herself.
She did everything except actively “stuff the ballot box”.
Only one problem: Over 50%
of all homeowners have to vote to actually hold an election.
This is a problem familiar to anyone who actually participates in
their HOA. The lack of
concern by most members is a key factor.
So come the day of the Annual Meeting and Election, no one showed up
except “Michaela”, “Phoebe”, “Patty” and me.
And “Patty’s” two hand-picked Board Member wannabes.
“Michaela” didn’t even bother opening those ballots that had been
mailed in, plus “Patty’s” hand-carried contribution, because they didn’t
qualify due to an insufficient number.
The only thing that needed to be done was to officially announce
that a Quorum had not
been reached and the current Board would continue as needed.
That’s when I made my announcement.
I pointed out that I had been on the Board for quite a few years, and
that I was “delighted” that two new people were so eager to volunteer.
And I officially stepped down.
Whereupon, “Phoebe”, who knew what was coming, promptly announced
that she was stepping down, too.
In other words, the entire Board walked out on “Patty”, leaving
her holding the bag.
Needless to say, “Patty” was tickled pink.
She was beaming with triumph…right up until “Michaela” starting
listing all the responsibilities that “Patty” had happily been taking
all the credit for and was now saddled with.
Then she started to turn a little green.
It took “Patty” over five months to even pull together a “bi-monthly”
HOA meeting. I noticed that
one of her hand-picked minions is now the major speedbump, constantly
questioning her decisions and claiming that he had “buddies” who could
do some job “for a lot less”.
“Patty’s” been in charge for almost a year now.
The other day I happened to see her on my way to the mailbox.
She brightly asked, “Are you ready to come back on the Board?”
It seems that the other hand-picked minion has gotten bored with
being a Director and is now flaking out on her.
I laughed out loud and cheerfully said:
“I was on the Board for five years.
It’s time to give someone else the opportunity.”
So there.
Love, as always,
Pete
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