September 14, 2018
Dear Everyone:
A few weeks ago, “Jeannie” and I decided to spend an afternoon watching
a movie. We elected to see
Mission: Impossible –
Fallout. In other
words, “Mission Impossible 6”.
This is indeed the sixth time that
Tom Cruise has
donned the Ethan Hunt
persona.
You’ve got your Virtually Indestructible Hero.
You’ve got your Typical Demented Villain, who is bound and
determined to Save-the-World-by-Destroying-It.
You’ve got your Plucky Helpers.
You’ve got some Possibly-Helpless-but-Probably-Not-Females.
You’ve got lots of Exotic Locations, to the point that you ask
yourself, “What country are we in again?”
And you have Tom Cruise, literally running for his life.
Cruise seems unable to accept the fact that he’s pushing 60,
officially “Over the Hill”, old enough to be a grandfather.
His oldest child has already hit the Quarter-Century Mark.
But Tom just keeps on running.
(In fact, it has been reported that, while performing his own
stunts, he broke an ankle and shut down production for over six weeks.)
Each time he almost Saves The Day, only to realize that the Train Has
Sailed; the Ship Has Left the Station.
And then it’s: See
Tom run! Run, Tom, run!
The producers do their level best to convince the audience that “This is
what it’s like to be inside a helicopter that is falling apart…and
falling off a cliff.” And
then let’s watch Tom run some more…
Nevertheless, come next February when the
Academy Awards
nominations are announced, don’t be too surprised if this one gets
the nod for
Best Film Editing.
Here’s a premise for a “Mission
Impossible” plot:
A foreign government,
through well-connected
oligarchs,
loans money to an avaricious, if slightly incompetent, American
businessman.
Several years go by.
Suddenly, the businessman announces that he’s running for
President of the United States of America.
Of course, most people treat it like a joke.
But that same foreign government uses
Social Media to
plant the notion that the incompetent businessman’s
political
opponent is an even worse idea.
Fortunately for the foreign government, the political opponent is
female and enough people can’t stand the idea of a President Without a
Penis. Also, a significant
portion of the electorate is so fed up with the usual shenanigans going
on in Washington that they would happily vote for
Daffy Duck if he
put on a yellow wig and squawked the same
demagogic nonsense
as the incompetent businessman.
Naturally, the “real” politicians are aghast at the hand they’ve been
dealt, but the incompetent businessman takes over the election before
they quite know what the heck is happening.
Also, the incompetent businessman’s “independent” wealth allows
him to ignore all the “advice” they give him.
And before you can say “Woopsie Daisy!” the incompetent
businessman actually gets elected.
Of course, the “real” politicians assume that they will, in fact, be
running the government. But
the incompetent businessman turns out to be such a complete
whack-a-doodle that they can’t keep him under control.
He keeps bouncing off the walls, both figuratively and literally.
Having made a campaign promise to “Drain the Swamp! he fills his
Cabinet with a cast of nincompoops even more avaricious and corrupt
than he is.
In the meantime, the rather amateurish Social Media mangling performed
by the foreign government has come to the attention of the authorities
who begin an
investigation. His
erstwhile compatriots abandoning him like rats deserting a sinking ship,
the incompetent businessman keeps caterwauling, “No collusion!
No collusion!” It’s
like he thinks it’s some sort of magical spell that will Make Everything
OK Again for him.
Nevertheless, the walls are closing in…
Can Tom Cruise run fast enough to Save The Day?
Will Tom Cruise even know in which direction to run?
Does anybody? Cue the
music!!!
Love, as always,
Pete
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