October 13, 2017
Dear Everyone:
I bought a new
bed last weekend.
According to my
“gadget log”, the last time I bought a bed was in 2005.
Technically, the manufacturer “guaranteed” the mattress and box
spring (also known as a “foundation”) for fifteen years.
But according to other sources, a bed should not be expected to
last more than about ten years.
In other words:
Replace a bed every ten years or so, whether it needs it or not.
In fact, I had
noticed in recent months that the existing bed had developed a tendency
to list somewhat to the right.
Also, there was a noticeable dent where I sleep, regardless of
how recently I had rotated the mattress.
In the meantime,
I had long yearned for a bed that would go up at the head, for when I
read or watched TV, then go down flat when it was time to go to sleep.
I’ve tried any number of pillow-and-cushion combinations over the
years, with less than stellar results.
So, last
Saturday, “Jeannie” and I walked into a mattress store in
Walnut
Creek and asked about a bed which, at the touch of a button, would
go up and down upon command.
They had multiple choices:
Firm, medium, soft. Twin,
full, queen, king, etc. And
bases: Bases that went up
and down. Bases that
vibrated. Bases that even
lit up in the dark.
Double-bases for two people who like to sleep together, but at different
angles. So many choices!
The base that I
opted for included the under-the-bed-nightlight and vibration, but the
real reason I picked it was that it had some electrical outlets built
into the base. When the bed
is plugged in, you lose an outlet.
But with this base, I could plug the bedside lamp and alarm clock
into the base itself. It
even had a couple of USB
charging ports, for people who literally take their
smartphone to bed
with them.
And all within
the budget that I had set.
Just barely, but still under the limit.
That was
Saturday. The bed was
delivered on Sunday. It even
came with assembly instructions, printed in Spanish.
However, the deliverymen knew exactly what they were doing and
put it all together in very short order.
Even popped the batteries into the remote control to confirm that
everything worked properly.
Then they bundled
the old mattress, foundation and frame into their big truck and took it
all away.
It wasn’t until
later that I realized that there were no instructions on how to use the
remote control.
Some buttons were fairly self-explanatory.
The central button with the little lightbulb symbol on it did,
indeed, turn the under-the-bed light on and off.
No monsters can hide under a bed with its own light, now can
they? It might even come in
handy should I ever drop an earring right next to the bed.
As for “Position”
and “Massage”, again not hard to figure out.
“+” makes it go up, or vibrate, harder; “-“ does the opposite.
One set of buttons for “Head” and another for “Foot”.
But what about “Cust1”, “Cust2”, and “Set”?
I spent some time
Sunday night trying various combinations.
The one I liked the best was the button marked “Flat”.
Pretty easy. No
matter where the Head and Foot were, press and hold this one and
everything went down to flat.
Not unlike being in the dentist’s chair these days, but much more
relaxing.
Later this week,
I did some online searching at the manufacturer’s website and found an
Owner’s Manual that included a page detailing the “standard” remote
control. That’s where I
discovered the “secret combination”:
Press-and-hold the “Set” button until the massage vibration
starts-and-stops. Then
press-and-hold the “Cust1” button until the massage vibration
starts-and-stops again. That
records the “custom 1” setting.
Same for “custom 2”.
Silly me.
Why didn’t I think of that?
It’s so simple. Press
a button, wait for the bed to go into convulsions, then proceed.
Now the only
problem is what to do with all the remote controls.
One for the bed, one for the
cable box,
one for the TV, one for the torchiere lamp in the corner behind the air
purifier. That’s a lot of
remotes for one little bedside table to handle, along with the
aforementioned lamp and alarm clock.
On the one hand,
if I knock one of the remotes onto the floor, I can use the
under-the-bed-light to locate it.
On the other hand, I could inadvertently change channels when I
meant to lower the bed and turn off the light.
Technology.
It’s a double-edged sword.
Love, as always,
Pete
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