May 12, 2017
Dear Everyone:
I have previously mentioned that we have a gym, or “fitness
center”, here at Crestview.
It began as a large room, with three windows overlooking the
“main” pool area. Over time,
what had been offices used by the Sales Office, which had converted the
apartments into condominiums, were expanded to include more room.
An small alcove that once held copiers, printers and many, many
preprinted forms, was knocked out to make the whole space more than
twice as big. This currently
accommodates a large “punching
bag” and a padded floor space for people who want to wrestle, or
just do pushups and sit-ups, with or without very large exercise balls.
Now the “fitness center” consists of one really large room, with windows
at both ends and an “annex” holding really big weight machines, complete
with additional windows looking out onto a patio and the usual sliding
glass patio doors. A few
months ago, the horizontal blinds covering one of these windows was
damaged, probably by someone there to exercise who felt the need to look
out the windows, or to cover the windows.
Whatever.
“Mannie, the Maintenance Guy” simply went to the Big Orange Hardware
Warehouse Store and got some new blinds to replace the ones that got
broken. No big deal.
Except that it started me thinking.
All these blinds were put in by the same Sales Office more than
10 years ago. If one broke,
could the others be far behind?
In fact, almost immediately another set of blinds suffered an
assault and are now held together with a bit of string and “good
thoughts”.
So, at the last
Homeowner
Association (HOA) meeting, I innocently suggested that we look into
replacing all the window blinds and the vertical blinds covering patio
doors while we were at it.
And the patio door blinds in the Clubhouse also looked like they could
stand to be replaced.
Before you could say “Jiminy
Cricket!” our most recent Board Member, “Patty” was off, declaring
that she could do a much better job than “Mannie, the Maintenance Guy”
and that she was absolutely sure she would save a tremendous amount of
money doing it. Not to be
outdone, the other Board Member, “Phoebe”, decided that we should
replace the patio door blinds with
shutters, on
the grounds that they would stand up better to the kind of abuse that
happens whenever people feel the impulse to open and shut things they
never had to pay for.
And thus began a huge, and mostly ridiculous, battle of wills between
two people who are both old enough to both know better, waged almost
entirely in email.
Complicated by the fact that “Patty” only does email in the middle of
the night, which coincidentally seems to be the only time she uses the
“fitness center”; while “Phoebe” only does email when she is at home and
can use her Kindle
e-reader. “Phoebe” also was,
until recently, unaware that using ALL CAPS in an email is considered
“shouting” and therefore rude.
Which “Patty” chose to assume was racially motivated.
It was at this point that I stepped in as a “referee” and told them that
if they didn’t behave, I would be forced to make them sit in separate
corners.
It reminded me of a story that our mother told me about a time when five
of us children (the last two hadn’t come along yet) got into such a snit
with each other that she placed chairs in the living room and made us
all sit there. No one was
allowed to speak to any of the others, only to Mom.
And we could get up and leave just as soon as we said “something
nice” about one or more of the others.
She was amazed at how long it took before one, I have no idea which,
finally “broke down” and found something palatable to say and made their
escape. What I find amazing
is that she was amazed.
After all, she somehow managed to raise a houseful of “only children”.
Or, as “Byron” put it:
“A basket of scrappers.”
In the meantime, “Patty” has settled down, possibly sensing that she
went too far with the completely unfounded accusation of “racism”.
And I instructed “Phoebe” not to open any emails from “Patty”
until I had checked them for content.
Stay tuned for further Breaking News.
Love, as always,
Pete
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