April 11, 2014
Dear Everyone:
I seem to be spending much too much of my time these days on that pesky
“Petty Cash” account for my
Homeowners Association.
In addition to the tattered envelope containing $125.10 in small
bills and change, the former Association president, “Maggie”, gave me a
large plastic expanding file with lots of paper in it.
It just so happens that I hate
those expanding files, whether they be made of plastic or the older card
stock. Sure, they “expand”,
courtesy of some accordion folding.
But the second you let go of one side or the other, the file
collapses on itself to the point where you actually need three hands to
use it. Two hands to hold
the folder open and a third hand to put something in or take something
out. Then, the second you
let go of any part of it, the whole thing shuts up and flops over and
you’ve lost your place.
I ended up taking everything out, marking which “slot” things came from,
and totally reorganizing it in much-easier-to-use manila folders and
hanging folders, in a handy tote-able file case, which I happened to
already have, so there.
In the course of all this organizing, I came across the original
paperwork pertaining to the “Petty Cash”.
It seems that about four years ago they set up this “Petty Cash” thing
with a balance of $1000.
Every so often, the person in charge would list all the outstanding
charges, with receipts, and send it in to the Property Management
Company. The Management
Company would then send a new check for the amount spent, taking the
balance back up to around $1000.
Except that when “Maggie” gave me that envelope, it only had $125.10 in
it. So what happened to the
other $874.90? Well, it
seems that “Maggie” was kind of busy with one thing and another and
hadn’t quite kept up with that turning receipts in on a regular basis
thing.
Once I found all the old paperwork, as in copies of previous petty cash
report forms and receipts, I was able to enter it all into a spreadsheet
and do some figuring.
Subtract all the expenses, add in the copies of check request forms
showing how much money was sent to “Maggie” every now and again and
darned if it didn’t all come out more-or-less even.
I emailed the spreadsheet to our Management Company representative,
“Michaela”. I also pulled
together all the outstanding receipts and the form that “Maggie” had
been using last year and the first part of this year and sent them to
“Tilly”, the accountant.
And don’t even get me started on the whole Big Blue Electronics
Warehouse “refund” in the form of a Gift Card that I came across.
Apparently, “Maggie” paid cash for something and, when it didn’t
work out, took it back. But
most stores won’t give you cash back; they’ve been burned too many
times. So, Gift Card, which
can now only be spent at that particular chain.
In any case, “Michaela”, “Tilly” and I will get it all ironed out, one
way or another, but I’d rather be baking cookies, thank you very much.
In the meantime…
“Jeannie” and I went to see
Noah
last weekend. It was either
that or
Mr. Peabody & Sherman,
which “Jeannie” declined to consider.
Noah is not a
typical-Hollywood retelling of a familiar
Biblical account, but rather
the director’s “inspiration,” very loosely based on the
Book of Genesis,
with a lot of typical-Hollywood “fixes”.
One critic referred to it as a “Biblical
Waterworld”.
Noah, played by Russell Crowe, in a dizzying variety of wigs, has
dreams, which he decides are messages from “the Creator”.
What should he do about them?
He goes to talk with his Grandpa,
Methuselah, played by
Anthony
Hopkins, who seems more interested in eating berries than in saving the
world.
Noah decides he should build an
Ark, but watch out for those Bad Guys,
led by Ray Winstone, who eat meat and make things out of metal.
Enter The Watchers, actually fallen
angels, who look a lot like
animated boulders, sort of prehistoric
Transformers, voiced by the likes
of Nick Nolte and
Frank Langella.
(“Hey, Nick. How was
your last movie?” “I played
a rock.”) The Rock People
prove helpful.
In next to no time, Noah has his Ark and all the animals in the world
come to call, thanks to
Industrial Light & Magic.
Then the water comes.
Lots of water. Not “just
rain”, but geysers of water in all directions.
And the Ark floats along.
And Noah (in yet another wig) goes a little bit “off the deep end”.
He may not be the first man to put his job ahead of his family;
and he won’t be the last.
All in due time, the Ark doesn’t come to rest on
Mount Ararat, it
crashes into it (take that,
Titanic!)
Eventually, Noah and his family, and all the animals, get set to
repopulate the world, prompting “Jeannie” to wonder:
If they’re so dead set against
metallurgy, where did the wife get
that hoe from?
As one person put it: The
Ark floats, but the movie tanks.
Save your money.
Summer is just around the corner.
Love, as always,
Pete
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