July 13, 2012
Dear Everyone:
This is the third time this year that the 13th
has fallen on a Friday.
Betcha didn’t notice.
For reasons going back centuries (see
Gregorian
Calendar in Wikipedia), the first month of each quarter this year, so
far, has begun on a Sunday.
Any time the month begins on a Sunday, you get a
Friday the 13th.
Simple mathematics, really.
Apparently, the same thing happens if a year begins on Thursday,
but that might only pertain to non-Leap Years.
If you think that’s complicated, you should try
the Test Scripts that I’ve been going through at work.
Preparing a
tax return is child’s play compared these little
ditties.
Example:
“…take the total Capital amount from the approved
Appropriations Request for the current quarter.
Divide that amount between the remaining months in the current
quarter. Enter the values
into the AR Baseline and Forecast Value columns for those months.
Repeat the previous step for each quarter listed in the AR that
has a non-zero Capital amount…”
Except when Tuesday falls on Thursday.
Seriously, you can’t make this stuff up.
And that’s only when the system does what it is
intended to do, which is what I’m supposed to be testing, right?
Wrong?
Who’s on First
again?
Not to mention when the instructions read, “…take
note of all amounts shown in the Capital column and the quarters/years
in which they are applied…”
And you thought it was tough to
balance your checkbook.
(Be honest:
When was the last time you balanced your checkbook?
Do you even know what “balance your checkbook” means?)
And that’s why my head keeps spinning
counter-clockwise instead of the usual way.
On the Plus Side, I have convinced “Ludmilla” to
let me copy and “revise” The Test to “Front End Load” it with all the
necessary information, based on the fact that we know the Test will take
place in August. This allows
me to strip out all the ambiguities and “Management-by-Telepathy” that
are currently inherent in it.
So how did I “convince” the writer of The Test to
let me fool with it?
Same way I “convinced” our Father to let me avoid
taking Physics my Senior Year in
High School.
(I took Psychology, instead.)
I waited until he was thoroughly engrossed in something else (the
Summer Olympics) and slipped it into the conversation while he wasn’t
looking.
Me:
“Dad?”
Dad:
“Uh huh.”
TV:
“The Americans just might win the
Gold this time!!!”
Me:
“I’m not taking Physics next year.”
Dad:
“Uh-huh.”
TV:
“And the Americans win!!!”
And I got out of taking Physics.
“Ludmilla” is so engrossed with “moving on” from
Phase 2 (where I am) to Phase 3 (where she is) that she barely noticed
that I’m going to make a major overhaul of “a copy” of her precious Test
Script.
In the Business World, this is known as a
“Process Improvement.”
And, for the record, I’ve never needed to
understand Physics in my daily life.
I did have to figure out how to compute
percentages (I must have
been out sick that day), but that’s a different story altogether, isn’t
it?
Love, as always,
Pete
PS: If you
really want to know why
Friday the 13th is considered unlucky, I’ll be happy to
explain it to you. But I
won’t get into Astrology because that requires
math.
P.
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