August 25, 2011
Dear Everyone:
When I first purchased the
condo I’m currently
living in, we knew there were a few problems.
The Homeowners Association members discovered, to their
collective dismay, that the original developers, back in 1988, had taken
a few shortcuts when they threw these places together.
For example, the “fire prevention sprinklers” outside our units
turned out to be what was euphemistically referred to as: “Decorative
items”.
And the original landscapers didn’t care that their
“carefully positioned” sprinklers poured water onto the sides of the
buildings instead of the plants.
Twenty-plus years later, substantial
dry rot was discovered and
being addressed when I decided to purchase the condo.
It didn’t really affect my place with one exception:
Because of the efforts to remediate, no one is allowed to put any
holes in the outside of the buildings.
It would invalidate the warranty made by the company that treated
the dry rot throughout the community.
Not that I was eager to start pounding nails into
the walls or anything. But
when it came time to put up
holiday lights in December, it required some
ingenuity on my part to figure out how to anchor the light strings
without any holes in the patio fence.
The answer:
Velcro.
Two-and-a-half years later, I’m
trying to pry ancient Velcro strips off the top of the fence.
(FYI,
duct tape works better and is much easier to remove.
A word to the wise…)
Once the major problems were fixed, the Association
began to take care of the less urgent issues.
Some upstairs units have
skylights.
Some of the skylights leaked.
Another good reason not to choose an upstairs unit.
(Personally, I dislike skylights.
They let in too much sunlight.)
More recently, the management company that works
for the Association has been taking on the balconies.
Some of them have serious issues, some less so.
My upstairs neighbor’s balcony needs some “cosmetic” repairs.
Mostly pulling off siding, checking the underlying wood for
stability, then replacing the siding.
No big deal.
But it means they have to use my patio to work on
the balcony upstairs. No
problem. The last thing I
want is for my neighbor to step outside for a smoke and come crashing
down on top of me, figuratively speaking, of course.
So for the past two days, I’ve had a workman on a
ladder out on my patio. When
he isn’t just standing on top of the fence.
(Hope the Association’s insurance is up-to-date.)
Everything on the patio is eminently movable.
Some chairs that “Jeannie” originally bought to grace the patio
of the townhouse we sold two years ago.
The inevitable “Earthquake Box”, filled with emergency supplies,
which I probably haven’t checked in two years or more.
(Note to self: Check
the Earthquake Box.)
And
bird feeders.
It started with one feeder that I picked up on
impulse. Then I found a
hanger built to hold up a single plant, or in this case, a feeder.
Placed on a table, sitting on top of the aforementioned
Earthquake Box, the hanger/feeder was high enough that I could see it
from any part of the living room.
But not high enough to discourage Mr. Squirrel, who saw the
feeder as his own “Happy Hunting Ground”.
And don’t even get me started on the Scrub Jays.
In the meantime, I found more feeders.
(I’m not the “collector” that “Jeannie” is.
I only have four, not counting the one “Frankie” sent me for my
birthday.) Then I noticed a
large “nail” sticking out of the post that holds up the balcony above.
It’s more than a quarter-inch thick, so instead of “nail”, it
might be considered a “spike”.
In any case, it was there before the dry rot remediation, because
the company painted right over it when they finished.
A cord, tied to the spike, running across to the
outside light fixture, could hold three feeders without causing any more
holes in anything. But at
the last Homeowners Association meeting, I learned that they are getting
ready to “crack down” on people who are using previously “installed”
holes. There would be
letters coming out to inform you that just because the
nail/spike/whatever was there before, you still can’t have anything
“mounted” on the outside of your unit.
Even if the previous tenant/owner put it there you
can’t go on using it. So my
cord-from-the-post-to-the-outside-light would not last much longer.
Then I happened to stop at the “Big Orange Warehouse Hardware
Store”, looking for something else entirely (isn’t it always that way?)
They had numerous hanging plants for sale.
Hanging from metal stands.
I didn’t want the plants.
Could I get one of the stands?
Yes.
They even helped me take one apart, making sure I could put it back
together when I got it home.
And the price was right.
Now the stand, with feeders, the chairs, the
Earthquake Box and everything else, is shoved under the balcony, making
way for the workman and his ladders as he finishes the siding on the
balcony. He even removed the
spike for me, so I won’t get any letters on the subject.
I’m looking forward to sweeping the patio (lots of discarded
birdseed, and so on) and rearranging the “furniture” when it’s all
finished.
Needless to say, all this disruption doesn’t bother
the birds one bit. Mr.
Squirrel, however, is a little put out.
For now.
Love, as always,
Pete
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