July 12, 2000
Dear Everyone:
I love my Sack of Corn.
Last Christmas, “Richard” and his lovely wife,
“Marge” (and “Heloise”) sent each of us a Sack of Corn.
It was based on a charmingly rustic tradition, in the
Midwest,
of keeping a pan filled with dried corn kernels on the back of (or
underneath) the charmingly rustic wood-burning stove in the kitchen.
All day long, the corn would slowly heat on the back of (or
underneath) the stove.
At bedtime, each member of the family would line up
in the kitchen while Mother scooped out the hot corn and put it into
individual cloth sacks. Each
person would then take the sack of hot corn to bed with them, to warm
the bed, or their feet, or anything else that needed warming up.
In the morning, all the corn would be returned to the pan on (or
under) the stove and the cycle would repeat.
Presumably, this custom only took place during the
colder parts of the year.
In the newer version of the Sack of Corn, the
wood-burning stove has been replaced by the microwave oven.
You place your Sack of Corn in the microwave for a minute or two
(being very careful not to let it get too hot).
Then you place the hot Sack of Corn wherever you want it.
I use mine almost every night while watching TV.
Placing the hot Sack… behind the small of my back does wonders
for the tension-filled muscles that I seem to have at the end of every
day. After a few minutes, my
back is much more relaxed.
(Not changing the subject here.)
We have a new person at the office (two, in fact).
This particular new person is named “Bertha” and it just so
happens that I knew her before she came to work with us because we have
both served on the Board of Directors for
ARMA (Association of Records
Managers and Administrators).
The cubicle that “Bertha” was assigned to has a vent from the
air-conditioning system right over it.
Consequently, “Bertha” has a steady stream of cold air pouring
onto the back of her neck.
When she mentioned to me that she was applying a
heating pad to her neck at night, to offset the affects of the cold air,
I said to myself, “Self,” said I.
“’Bertha’ needs a Sack of Corn.
We must find one for her.”
And I started thinking about all the
muslin left over from
when I made a new shade for the patio (which is working very well, by
the way). The two leftover
strips of fabric are only about 27” wide, but they’re over three yards
long. That’s a lot of muslin
to leave to waste. How hard
could it be to make a Sack of Corn?
“Jeannie” and I discussed this over lunch on
Saturday. We agreed that
making the Sack, plus the flannel slip cover (which allows you to clean
the cover without getting the actual Sack wet), would be pretty simple.
The question was:
Where would we find whole corn kernels?
We both immediately thought, “Feed and grain
store.” But the only one we
knew is in
Half
Moon Bay and that’s too far to go.
There must be feed and grain establishments in the nearby area.
Lots of people own horses and they eat corn (don’t they?).
Then we realized that there was a large pet supply store right
across the street from the restaurant.
So, after lunch, we sauntered on over to the pet
store. A helpful store
employee directed us to the back wall.
Sure enough, they had 60-pound bags of whole corn.
Well, 60 pounds was a bit more than we needed.
I couldn’t see “Bertha” sitting around with 60 pounds of corn on
her neck.
Another helpful store employee suggested we try the
birdseed aisle. Sure enough,
there we found a bag of cracked corn that weighed only 20 pounds and
cost less than $6.00. This
seemed to be the least amount of corn we could get, so we decided to
give the cracked corn a try.
“Jeannie” lugged the 20-pound bag back to my car
and then we went to do more serious shopping at the mall.
On Sunday, using the original Sack of Corn as a pattern, I cut
the muslin (enough for two Sacks) and some flannel.
Sewed the Sack together on two sides, leaving just one end open.
Again, using the original Sack of Corn as a model, I filled the
sack half-full, folded over the open end for now, and popped the whole
thing into the microwave for a test.
If anything, cracked corn heats up faster than
whole corn. Apart from that,
it worked perfectly. By the
end of the day, I had two completed Sacks of Corn, one for “Bertha” and
one for another co-worker who really needed one.
I also had most of a 20-pound bag of cracked corn
in my living room (and the old song, “Jimmy
crack corn and I don’t care…” playing incessantly in my head).
About that time, “Jeannie” called to tell me that her new
dishwasher was
finally installed by her friend’s husband.
(She had bought the dishwasher several weeks ago, but this was
the first chance he had to come and install it for her, free of charge.)
When I informed her that the Sacks of Corn were a
success, she wanted to know if I had any corn leftover.
Yeah, about 18 pounds, I’d guess.
In that case, “Jeannie” commissioned two more Sacks to be
completed by this weekend.
They will make perfect Thank You gifts for the friend and husband for
installing the dishwasher (and so much cheaper than taking them out to
dinner yet again).
Also, “Jeannie” has realized that Sacks of Corn
will make ideal Christmas gifts for all the Ladies in her knitting
class. Which will bring the
Sack of Corn around full circle, from Christmas gift to Christmas gift.
Later this year, she and I can set up a little in-house Sack of
Corn factory.
In the meantime, I’ve got to figure out where to
keep 18 pounds of cracked corn.
Love, as always,
Pete
PS.
“Bertha” loves her Sack of Corn.
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