Love, As Always, Pete

The Weekly Letters, by A. Pedersen Wood

July 8, 1999

Dear Everyone:

“Jeannie”, at last, has email!!!  She finally got the phone company to come out and install a second line.  Last Saturday, I went up and connected the new phone line to the modem and set her up with local numbers to call in to America Online (AOL). 

Then I logged on and set her up with a screen name.  For those who are interested, it’s “Neptune642”.  A screen name can be any combination of letters and numbers (but no other characters) of at least 3 and no more than 10.  When we lived in Lake Oswego, our phone number was Neptune 6-4246.  That’s a number that “Jeannie” will never forget.  So that’s her screen name, minus what went beyond 10 characters. 

I also set her up with an Address Book of all the family email addresses and sent out an electronic announcement.  Some of you got that last weekend.  So “Jeannie” is all set up for email. 

Except for training, that is.  I gave her a brief overview; but, by the time I got home and found the message on my phone machine, I realized that “Jeannie” needs more than a “brief overview”.  She needs hands-on training with lots of repetition.  So, next weekend, we will do some drilling in email fundamentals.  Expect a few “test” messages to come your way. 

In other news… 

I have Couch Potato-itis.  I somehow strained the muscles in my lower back.  This happened Saturday evening, after I got back from “Jeannie’s”.  Since the only thing I did was sit on the sofa and try to talk “Jeannie” through email 101 over the phone, I have concluded that it is the sofa that is at fault. 

Thinking back, we got that sofa shortly after we moved into the Walnut Creek apartment around 1980.  Over the years, the sofa has begun to sag (as have we all) and no longer offers enough back support.  I have reached the conclusion that a new sofa is in order.  I’ll donate the old one to the Salvation Army. 

And, while I’m at it, it might not be a bad idea to look into donating and replacing certain appliances before they go belly up.  The washer, dryer and refrigerator were all new when I bought the condo in 1987.  That makes them just over 14 years old.  They all still work, but I’m thinking now is the time to look for replacements, rather than waiting for a triple catastrophe to take place.  If I plan it right, I can get rid of the old, faithful retainers, get a nice write-off on my taxes, and put all the new stuff on my Visa card, which leads to points, which adds up to free merchandise at Macy’s. 

Speaking of free merchandise at Macy’s, the Lancôme cosmetics people traditionally celebrate the Fourth of July with a gift, “Yours free with any purchase of $19.50 or more.  Only one to a customer, please.” 

Who do they think they’re kidding?  By stretching purchases out over several weeks, you can get any number of “gifts”.  You don’t buy everything at once.  You go to Macy’s in Concord and buy two tubes of mascara ($18.00 each).  Then you stop at Macy’s in Walnut Creek on the way home and pick up a cleanser and a lipstick.  Finally, you swing by the Macy’s in Pleasanton for some moisturizer. 

Of course, you don’t have to go to all different stores.  If you time it correctly, you can keep going to the nearest store as long as you don’t catch the same salesperson each time.  (Like they really care how many “gifts” you collect.) 

And what is the “gift”?  A nice, big canvas bag, marked with the Lancôme logo.  A tiny mascara, a lipstick and nail polish (in “pink” or “brown”), an eye makeup remover and a baguette of fresh French bread (because Lancôme cosmetics are considered “French”).  Now, here’s the kicker: 

I don’t need any of this stuff.  I have a closet full of canvas bags.  I give the tiny mascara to “Jeannie” (most of the time).  The lipstick is never in a shade that I really like (or that really likes me).  I don’t use nail polish.  Ditto the eye makeup remover.  That leaves the baguette.  Which will be stale by tomorrow if you don’t eat it for dinner.  How many times can you have French bread for dinner? 

But it’s “free”. They get you with the “f-word”.  It’s getting “something” for “nothing”, or at least for something I would be buying anyway. Consequently, I currently have five canvas bags, complete with everything except the baguettes.  I also have a number of female relatives that I will be meeting with in Ashland in just a few weeks. 

I just hope they prefer “pink” to “brown”. 

Love, as always, 

 

Pete

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