September 10, 1998
Dear Everyone:
Well, I have a new “opportunity” at work.
I’m to investigate, evaluate and recommend a new
Records
Management software program to run the company’s Records Centers.
Now, I know what you’re thinking:
“Déjà vu all
over again. Didn’t we do
this just a couple of years ago?”
Well, yes, actually.
Back in June of 1993 I headed a team to “investigate, evaluate
and recommend a new Records Management software program to run the
company’s Records Centers”.
But this is different.
Last time, we had a team of seven people, with a
Guidance Review Team to oversee our work from time to time.
(I know this because, like a good little Records Manager, I kept
all my old notes from the last project.
Never know when they’ll come in handy.)
Last time, we seven met all day, one day per week, for nearly six
months, hammering out criteria, watching demonstrations of various
candidates and discussing the pros and cons of possible applications.
This time, I
am the Team. (This will
make arranging team meetings much simpler.)
This time, there are only six candidates, two of which I’m ready
to eliminate by the end of this week.
This time, I already have all the criteria, based on those pesky
flow charts that the Project Manager insisted I create.
This time, I have tons
of input from customers (many of which contradict each other, but so
what?).
And, this
time, I have “Wilbur” to handle all those “I know you’re very busy,
but…” problems that gobble up
so much valuable time. You
see, they want the application picked out and ready to purchase as soon
as the new budget goes into effect in January.
So this time, I have
it on the highest authority that I can concentrate on this one project
without interruptions. Well,
apart from my boss’s interruptions.
The (tentative) plan is to try and get all of the
vendors to come here at the same time, giving demonstrations in the
morning and allowing the afternoons for discussions of the inevitable
pros and cons. And who will
be doing this discussing? As
many of the users as want to come.
From as far away as they want to come from.
That means enough advance notice for vendors to
make arrangements and for users to get plane tickets and get hotel
reservations. (I haven’t
decided if arranging for a block of hotel rooms will be included in my
duties yet.) And I need to
reserve a conference room, and audio/visual equipment and think of about
a hundred other things that will need being done.
It’s going to be a busy six-eight weeks.
But not too busy, I’m sure, to take in a few
movies. Soon the
Oscar hopefuls
will start coming out. In
the meantime, there’s
Knock Off.
This is
Jean-Claude
Van Damme’s latest effort and, really, he shouldn’t have.
Your typical “head-kicker”, this one lacks the humor and charm
that his collaborations with
Sam Raimi had (Hard
Target and
TimeCop);
nor does it have the advantage of villains like
Ted Levine and
Joss Ackland (Nowhere
to Run).
Instead, the best this one has to offer is the
scenery of Hong Kong
during it’s return to Chinese rule (lots of pretty fireworks) and the
unexpected appearance of
Paul Sorvino.
That’s hardly enough.
Add to it a completely convoluted plot and so many secondary characters
that look like so many other characters that you’re never sure just who
was that guy that just got blown up, anyway?
It also differs from Jean-Claude’s earlier work in
two important respects. One,
you don’t get any nude scenes.
Usually, he makes sure you have at least one opportunity to
admire all the rippling muscle groups (this guy’s not camera shy at all).
Two, he almost always does the splits, harking back to his days
as a dancer. Not this time.
Could it be that J-C is starting to take it easy on himself?
Whatever.
Find something better to watch.
Almost anything will do.
Love, as always,
Pete
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