April 23, 1998
Dear Everyone:
It says something about you when you’re on a
first-name basis with the late-shift security people.
We don’t have direct security in “Livermore”, i.e., a uniformed
guard who checks people’s ID’s when they come and go.
Instead, we have motion detectors throughout the facility.
These detectors are connected to a system in Company Park.
When someone (or something) moves around, it shows up on the
system.
There is also a special phone on the front desk
that is linked directly to the security office in Company Park.
Pick up this phone (we call it “The
Bat Phone”) and another phone rings in the security office.
The first person to arrive in “Livermore” in the morning goes
directly to The Bat Phone and identifies themselves.
Security notes that “Livermore” is officially open for business
and they can ignore any movement detected.
Conversely, the
last person to leave at night
is also responsible for calling security and reporting that they are
shutting the facility down for the night.
After that, if motion is detected inside the warehouse, security
contacts the “Livermore” Police Department to investigate a possible
break-in. And this is why
I’m on a first-name basis with the late-shift guys in the security
office. I’m frequently the
last one out of the building.
This is not only because of working late.
I have occasionally hosted an ARMA
Board Meeting, since we have a nice big conference room and plenty of
free parking. If anyone is
expecting to be in the office past 6:00 PM, they are also supposed to
notify security. One time, I
did let security know that we would be having a meeting that would not
begin until after 6:00. When
I finally called after the meeting was over, the guy in security said,
“Yeah, Dave told me you were having some kind of meeting.
I really wondered, because from here, it looked like you had a
herd of elephants running around there.”
Herd of elephants, bunch of records managers.
To motion detectors, we all look alike.
In other news...
Summer arrived this week.
After what seemed like
months of El Niño-inspired
rain and shockingly cold mornings, it was suddenly warm and sunny.
For the first time, when I went into the house at the end of the
day, it was cooler inside than outside.
But that was only downstairs.
Upstairs, it was 84º in the bedrooms.
I ran the air conditioner for a couple of hours and that brought
it down to 80º.
Next weekend, “Jeannie” and I are going to look at
ways to shade the patio and find better window treatments to try and
keep more of that pesky sunshine out.
And, of course, maybe take in a movie.
Saw
Mercury Rising last
weekend. As “Jeannie” puts
it, “You could drain
spaghetti through the holes in this plot.”
True enough. A
government agency which shall remain nameless, but whose initials are
National
Security Agency, has developed the perfect encryption program, i.e.
“The Secret Code”. They
named The Secret Code, “Mercury”, apparently to accommodate a catchy
title.
They have put Mercury through every imaginable test
and it has passed with flying colors.
The Secret Code is unbreakable.
Then, just to prove how invincible their Secret Code is, they
place instructions, written in code, in the middle of a puzzle that’s
published in a puzzle magazine.
The instructions say to call a special phone number.
They know this will never happen, of course.
A nine-year-old
autistic boy picks up
the magazine, takes one look at the puzzle, goes directly to the phone
and calls the number. At the
NSA, it’s Panic City. The
kid is a walking
Decoder Ring.
What to do?
Obviously, send an “enforcer” to gun down the entire family; no one will
notice that.
Enter
Bruce Willis as
the grizzled veteran
FBI agent sent to investigate.
It takes him no time at all to figure out that something is wrong
because the “enforcer” starts killing everyone around him and the kid.
The “enforcer” uses a silencer, so no one will hear the shot,
then runs around waving his two-foot-long gun in the air like no one is
going to notice that, either.
Alec Baldwin
plays essentially the same god-complex guy he did in
Malice.
He’s above the law.
He tries to explain to Willis that Willis is some kind of
dinosaur because
“America is a Team and you’re not a team player.”
The most fun of this movie is taking it apart
afterwards. Kind of like
taking a puzzle apart instead of putting it together.
If you like that sort of thing, you’ll love
Mercury Rising.
Otherwise, don’t bother.
Love, as always,
Pete
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