November 28, 1990
Dear Everyone:
How the hell did it get to be the end of November
already? Christmas is less
than four weeks away!
Last weekend was blissfully quiet and peaceful.
I got completely caught up on my deferred viewing,
including the Civil War, then
promptly taped two more movies Sunday night so now, I’m behind again.
It was so nice to have nothing that I
had to do, except to go feed
“Jeannie’s” cat. In fact, if
it hadn’t been for the cat, I might not even have bothered to get
dressed some days.
That cat has gotten so fat lately.
I guess that’s what happens when all you do all day is eat and
sleep. Come to think of it,
that’s what I did all weekend.
Good thing I have a job to come back to.
The Memo that we’ve been clamoring for finally went
out the week before last.
This is the memo that announced that we’re going to start billing people
for their boxes in the Records Centers in January.
I’ve been talking with “Shelley” in
“Administrative
Nonsense” Billing and “Wayne” in “Bean Counters” and with
CITC, the people who are doing the programming, and we’re all agreed
(since last September) that a memo
had to go out from the head
of Comptroller’s so that we could get answers to certain questions that
we couldn’t ask until it was official (office politics).
Well, the memo finally went out and “Chris” even
sent me an advance copy of it and guess what it says at the bottom.
“If you have any questions, call Records Management at 555-3710.”
Guess whose phone number that is.
Right. Mine.
My phone would be ringing off the hook if it
weren’t for two things: One:
Phones don’t ring anymore.
They twitter or they rattle, but they don’t ring.
Two: I keep it
permanently forwarded to Voice Mail.
People call, they get a message to leave a message and they leave
their name and number. Their
message is a variation on one of two themes:
“I want to know how many boxes I have in the Records Center) or
“I just found this
Destruction Review of my boxes in the Records Center (the one I sent out
last July and which was due back by the tenth of last month) and I want
to know what I’m supposed to do with it” or both.
So I call them back to get their Owner Code(s),
usually leaving a message on
their Voice Mail, and then they call me back with the information,
which they leave on my Voice
Mail.
Have your machine call my machine.
They can do lunch.
With all these messages, I’ve gone through two note
pads since last week. I
write all the information down and use it to order reports for all of
these people. Then I have to
keep the notes until I can check to be sure that the reports ran.
They run overnight.
Once I’m sure the reports ran, I can toss the notes.
Actually, they go into the recycle box on my desk.
And here’s the true beauty of recycling:
I run a report for “Scott” in some Opco (Operating Company).
The report runs and I toss the note.
Two hours later, I get a call from “Jessie” who would like a copy
of the same report I ran for “Scott”.
All I have to do is drag the note out of the recycle box.
It’s like a sort of safety net.
Delayed disposal.
But don’t rely too heavily on it.
The recycle lady, who goes around each day emptying all the big
recycle boxes in the “common areas”, knows that I
always have lots of
recyclable paper, because of all the computer reports that I get.
So sometimes, if I’m not at my desk, she empties my box for me.
Saves me a trip to the big box.
Of course, all of this sudden interest in boxes is
because of the Billing System that I’m trying to work on in between all
these messages and report-running.
I get a PROFS Note from the programmers.
They want to know what the Voucher Number is going to be.
How should I know what the Voucher Number is going
to be? I don’t even know
what a Voucher Number is.
But I go off and talk with “Wayne” and when I come back, I can
tell them that the Voucher Number is “RM”.
Now, I know that “RM” isn’t a number and so do you; but don’t
tell anybody else, OK?
They’re happy now.
Until they want to know something else like what’s the Batch
Number. And the MVS Data Set
Name.
No, I don’t know what all of that is either.
I don’t speak Programmer and I don’t speak Accounting.
That’s why they made me the translator between the two.
But I can ask
questions and look reasonably intelligent.
The Batch Number is the month the job runs.
And the MVS Data Set Name is:
CCA.UCS.RMBLF.VOUCHER.
“Jeannie” is back and we’ll probably go shopping
and to a movie next weekend.
Good thing, too. I don’t
want to end up like her cat:
fat and furry.
Love, as always,
Pete
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