July 26, 1989
Dear Everyone:
Ashland Update…
Mother called last week to let me know that she acquired 2 sets of tickets to all of our performances by means of the Waiting List. So, this weekend I got around to calling the Box Office in Ashland and asking them to take my name off the Waiting List. Too late, Monday I received notification that they had filled my order. I now (also) have a complete set of tickets for each performance. Maybe Dad would like to join us (?) Shakespeare, anyone?
I forgot to mention last week, when “Marshall” was staying with me, he made himself a pot of coffee with my cute little coffee maker. Which is when we discovered that “Jeannie” had made a pot of coffee when she was visiting over the Memorial Day Weekend… and left the filter in the holder. Gross-city. Not only had something been growing in the coffee grounds, it had long since died. Didn’t faze “Marshall” any. I went to take a shower and when I came out, he had dug all the whatever out, run some water through the holder and made a pot of coffee. So far as I know, he’s not dead yet.
Tomorrow is our regular Thursday-Morning-Meeting-That-Will-Not-Die. Perhaps I should explain. Once upon a time, in a place called “Pleasanton”, the Records Center had a nice little database that they used to keep track of the 300,000 or so boxes that they had in storage. Every time someone added a box, or checked it out of storage, or checked it back in again, or (eventually) allowed the box to be destroyed, the data was fed into the database and everyone knew where each box was at all times and everyone was happy.
Then along came the big, bad “That Other Company”/”Company” Merger. “That Other Company” also had a database that they used to keep track of their boxes, somewhat more elaborate, but thy liked it. This database was called Record Center Control System, but was usually called by its nickname, RCCS. Naturally, the “Otherites” thought that their system was better than “Pleasanton’s”. Just as naturally, “Pleasanton” thought their system was better; but with enough determination, you can steam roll over just about anyone. A new database, called Box Inventory System, usually referred to as “Box”, was built to hold both “Pleasanton’s” and RCCS’s data and also to allow the addition of Records Centers in “Caspar”, “Lafayette”, “Canterbury” and, if necessary, Mars.
But there was a slight problem: RCCS data was being stored in something called the Transitional Data Center (TDC) which was a temporary data storage facility. TDC was always on the brink of being closed down and RCCS had to be got out before the axe fell. So finishing Box was a high priority, drop-everything-and-get-this-done-before-they-shut-down-the-TDC. A great deal of everyone’s time was spent, last year, getting Box up and getting RCCS into it.
Meanwhile, in another part of the computer, was a system called “Schedules”. It was intended to help us to develop retention schedules for various groups. A retention schedule is a listing of types of records and how long they should be kept around for the good of the Company. “Hey!” thought somebody, “why not set it up so that Box can consult Schedules to make sure that people aren’t sending the wrong kinds of records to storage for the wrong periods of time? Isn’t that a great idea?”
And, lo, CRMIS was born. CRMIS (“Company” Records Management Information System) is simply Box and Schedules with an Interface to connect the two. Unfortunately, Box was never developed with Schedules in mind and vice versa. Imagine it like this: Box speaks only Russian. Schedules speaks only Swahili. Interface consists of two sets of translators: One set speaks both Russian and Sanskrit, the other speaks both Sanskrit and Swahili. Imagine, also, that Box is in one valley and Schedules is in another, with a mountain (Interface) in between them. When Box needs to consult Schedules, it gives the message to a translator in Russian. The translator runs up to the top of the mountain and gives the message, translated into Sanskrit, to another translator. This translator then runs down the mountain and gives the message, in Swahili, to Schedules. Schedules gives this translator a reply. The translator runs up the mountain and passes the message to the first translator who runs down the mountain and gives the reply, translated from Sanskrit into Russian, to Box.
Unfortunately, sometimes things get lost in the translation. Last year, because of the rush to get RCCS out of the TDC, all of the effort was spent on fixing up Box. At the same time, they were adding all kinds of bells and whistles so that “Murray” said that the comparison of Box to Schedules was like a Cadillac running on a VW engine.
So, this year, we’re concentrating on reworking the Schedules side of the mountain. And, of course, as long as we’re doing that, let’s tack lots of bells and whistles onto Schedules!
We’ve been spending every Thursday morning on this since February, and we still haven’t been able to decide just what we want all these bells and whistles to do for us. Why? Partly because this is “Holtz’s” project. “Holtz” just loves to run around and around a problem until the rest of us get dizzy. I found out from “Terri Riggs” in ETD that the “IDHS” Project, which “Holtz” is also working on, is even worse. This is because they have not only “Holtz” but some named “Warner” as well. “Warner” is just like “Holtz” (God! Two of them!). It’s like Chip and Dale chasing each other all around, over and through a tree. “Terri” says that the others on the project just sit back and watch the two of them run around and around until they run out of breath and then someone calls for a vote. Our problem is that we don’t have anyone who can call for a vote. So we just keep running around and around and around…
Even “Holtz” (unconsciously) alluded to the chipmunk connection last week when he said that some problems were “a tough nut to crack”. Especially when you try to wear through the shell! Oh, well, think of it as job security.
Only 2 days, 3 hours and 45 minutes until I start my vacation.
No Letter next week as I won’t be here to write it.
Love, as always,
Pete
PS. The kicker is that the TDC is still very much alive and well. P.
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